Prince Andrew addresses Jeffrey Epstein scandal for first time while Sarah Ferguson publicly supports him

Prince Andrew has spoken out about his links to convicted sex offender, Jeffrey Epstein, in an interview with BBC Newsnight‘s Emily Maitlis, which was aired on Saturday night. Speaking at Buckingham Palace, the Queen’s son “categorically” denied having any sexual contact with American woman Virginia Giuffre, one of Jeffrey’s accusers, who was aged 17 at the time. The royal told Emily: “It didn’t happen. I can absolutely categorically tell you it never happened. I have no recollection of ever meeting this lady, none whatsoever.” Andrew also said that he would testify under oath if “push came to shove” and that his lawyers advised him too. Addressing Jeffrey’s attendance at Princess Beatrice’s 18th birthday party at Windsor Castle in 2006, Andrew said that he was unaware of an arrest warrant against the American financer at the time. The royal answered: “At the time, I certainly wasn’t aware when the invitation was issued, what was going on in the United States. And I wasn’t aware until the media picked up on it because he certainly never said anything about it.”

When asked if he feels regret over his relationship with Jeffrey, Andrew said that it was the wrong decision to visit him in December 2010. He said: “Do I regret the fact that he has quite obviously conducted himself in a manner unbecoming? yes.” He added that he now regrets going to stay with Jeffrey. “I stayed with him and that’s.. the bit that… as it were, I kick myself for on a daily basis because it was not something that was becoming of a member of the Royal Family and we try and uphold the highest standards and practices and I let the side down, simple as that.”

Andrew said that the allegations have been a “constant sore” in the royal family. “We all knew him, and I think that if we have a conversation about it, we are all left with the same thing, what on earth happened? Or how did he get to where he was, what did he do, how did he do it? And so it’s just a constant ghaw. I mean this first came out in 2011 and it was a surprise to all of us because the photographs were published at a separate time to when I was there, and then we sort of questioned what was going on and discussed it.”

The Duke also said that the Queen and the wider royal family have been nothing but supportive. Andrew told Emily at the end of the interview: “I think you’ve dragged out most of what is required and I’m truly grateful for the opportunity that you’ve given me to be able to discuss this with you.” The royal’s ex-wife, Sarah Ferguson, publicly shared her support for Andrew after the interview was aired. She took to Instagram to share a series of photos of him, which were accompanied by a statement. Sarah wrote: “It is so rare to meet people that are able to speak from their hearts with honesty and pure real truth, that remain steadfast and strong to their beliefs. Andrew is a true and real gentleman and is stoically steadfast to not only his duty but also his kindness and goodness of always seeing the best in people. I am deeply supportive and proud of this giant of a principled man, that dares to put his shoulder to the wind and stands firm with his sense of honour and truth.”

The mother-of-two added: “For so many years he has gone about his duties for Great Britain and The Monarch. It is time for Andrew to stand firm now, and that he has, and I am with him every step of the way and that is my honour. We have always walked tall and strong, he for me and me for him. We are the best examples of joint parenting, with both our girls and I go back to my three C’s ..Communicate, Compromise, Compassion.”

 

©hello magazine




Jack Osbourne Victim of Identity Theft … Someone Jacked Me for $30,000!!!

Jack Osbourne felt something was amiss while poring over his credit card statements … and he was proven right when he discovered he’d been the target of identity theft. Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … the red flags started flying for Jack when he saw just a few odd charges, and it prompted him to start looking back at previous months’ statements. Good thing he did, ’cause lo and behold … he found a slew of charges he never made.

We’re told Jack contacted law enforcement and reported the unauthorized charges totaled around $30k. It appears the charge to his card came from an employee of a monthly service Jack has scheduled at his house. The LAPD is now investigating the case, though no arrests have been made. We know getting hit for five figures worth o’ cash flat-out sucks … but it beats the last time Jack fell victim to a crime.

TMZ broke the story … Ozzy and Sharon’s son was brutally attacked back in April after an apparent homeless man walked up to him on a coffee shop patio and sucker punched him. The attacker was tracked down and arrested for battery and assault. We’ll see if Jack has justice on his side again with the credit card scammer.




Parenting with a Disability

Parenting can be a wonderful and challenging experience at the best of times. From the moment you find out you’re pregnant, to giving birth, figuring out what’s the best diapers these days or for first time parents, OMG, can I do this? Are we ready?

Now keep in mind all those questions and lets add another layer. What kind of questions goes through the minds of those parents that may have a disability? My main focus will be on blind parents, but I am more than willing/happy to do research and answer questions or provide helpful tips for any parent with a disability.

Are you someone with a disability and wonder:
who can you go to for answers?
Is there anyone out there that will understand what I’m going through?
What my fears are?

Are you a first time parent and thinking:
Oh dear, how do I give medicine?
What’s the best way to change my child’s diaper?
Am I able to help my child with their school work?

These are just some of the things that come up in day to day life as a parent and I hope to be able to share some of my knowledge with you readers. Do you know anyone that is a parent with a disability? If so, make sure you tell them about this beginning article.

My name is May and I am a blind parent with 2 adorable children. One girl age 10, and one boy age 15. My boyfriend and I now are getting ready to go through the adoption process and that will bring on all new challenges and questions. If you have topics you’d like for me to try and address feel free to let me know!




Marilyn Monroe’s Menorah to be auctioned

Even before her 1956 conversion, Marilyn Monroe, was attached to Judaism.

One of the most famous photos of the screen legend, with her white
skirt fluttering in a jet of subway exhaust, was snapped by Garry
Winogrand. The picture was promotion for Billy Wilder’s “The Seven Year
Itch” (1955). A year after the film’s debut, she married playwright
Arthur Miller and became a Member of the Tribe. The union didn’t last
long enough for the aforementioned itch to creep up on either spouse,
but Monroe’s relationship with Judaism endured for the rest of her life.

Last year a siddur owned and annotated by Monroe sold at auction for $21,000. Now, another piece of Monroe’s spiritual life will be on the block: Her menorah, gifted to her by Miller’s parents, and among her belongings at the time of her death in 1962.

Kestenbaum & Company, a New York auction house specializing in
Judaica linked to historical figures — including such unlikely subjects
as Henry VIII to Mother Theresa — will take bids for the item on
November 7.

The menorah, which is being sold by a private collector who snagged
it at Christie’s 20 years ago, has been on view before, included as part
of the Jewish Museum’s exhibit “Becoming Jewish: Warhol’s Liz and
Marilyn;” as well as an exhibit at the Museum of American Jewish History
in Philadelphia.

As far as menorahs go (and it’s technically a hanukkiah), Monroe’s is a pretty standard metal affair — not at all glamorous. Her personal rabbi, Robert E. Goldburg opined that Monroe was attracted to “the rationalism of Judaism.”

“Marilyn Monroe’s spellbinding magnetism knows no bounds,” the
auction house company director, Daniel Kestenbaum, noted. “The market
for memorabilia from the Golden Age of Hollywood goes from strength to
strength, as does Fine Judaica, and as such this extraordinary item has
remarkable provenance.”

This Hanukkah, you can pay tribute to the woman who, per Elton John, lived her life like a “Candle in the Wind,” by lighting her hanukkiah. But you’ll have to pay up first. Kestenbaum & Company have listed a guide price of $100,000 – 150,000 for the Marilyn menorah. With that price tag, you may not have money left over for presents.




The Latest Report Brings Good & Bad News About House Prices

Why is the housing market important to the economy?

The housing market is closely linked to consumer spending. When house
prices go up, homeowners become better off and feel more confident.
Some people will borrow more against the value of their home, either to
spend on goods and services, renovate their house, supplement their
pension, or pay off other debt.

When house prices go down, homeowners risk that their house will be
worth less than their outstanding mortgage.  People are therefore more
likely to cut down on spending and hold off from making personal
investments.

Mortgages are the greatest source of debt for households in the UK.
If many people take out large loans compared to their income or the
value of their house, this can put the banking system at risk in an
economic downturn.

Housing investment is a small but unpredictable part of how we
measure the total output of the economy. If you buy a newly built home,
it directly contributes to total output (GDP),
for example through investment in land and building materials as well
as creating jobs. The local area also profits when new houses are built
as newcomers will start using local shops and services.

Buying and selling existing homes does not affect GDP in the same
way. The accompanying costs of a house transaction still benefit the
economy, however. These can include anything from estate agent, legal or
surveyor fees to buying a new sofa or paint.

Why do house prices change?

House prices have changed a lot over time.

The average house price was a little over £10,000 back in 1977. Roll
forward 40 years and the average price has risen to £200,000. Even with
the general increase in the prices of goods and services, house prices
are now around three times as expensive as they were in the late 1970s.

For one thing, house prices tend to rise if people expect to be
richer in the future. Normally that happens when the economy is doing
well as more people are in work and wages are higher.

House prices also tend to rise if more people are able to borrow
money to buy houses. The more lending banks and building societies are
willing to provide, the more people can buy a house and prices will
rise.

The Bank of England also affects house prices through setting the key
interest rate in the economy. The lower interest rates are, the lower
the cost of borrowing to pay for a house is, and the more people are
able to afford to borrow to buy a house. That will also mean prices will
tend to be higher.

There are also more fundamental reasons why house prices may change.

For instance, demand for housing may rise if the population is
increasing or there are more single-person households. Growing demand
usually means higher house prices.

Prices will also tend to be higher if fewer houses are built,
reducing the supply of housing. The fewer houses that are built, the
more people will need to compete by increasing the amount of money they
are willing to spend to buy a house

There have also been times when house prices have increased a lot
just because people think prices will continue to rise. This is called a
housing market bubble. Bubbles are always followed by housing market
crashes when house prices fall sharply.

This happened in the 1980s. Between 1984 and 1989 house prices doubled, which was much higher than the growth in people’s earnings. The unsustainable rise was followed by over five years of falling house prices. It then took until 1999 before house prices had recovered to the level they were in 1989.

© Bank of England




The life of part time single father




Legend of the month – Saana Eishou

When it comes to stories of inspirational women, you can now add the name Saana Eishou to that list. One of the many thousands of individuals displaced by the trouble in Iraq, Saana managed to find a way through the turmoil. Suffering heart-breaking loss, Saana came out the other side and her story captured hearts, so much so that Saana received the Woman Of The Year Award from the Linda George Foundation in February. Linda is a fellow Assyrian who has found a new life in the US, mirroring Saana’s story.

Speaking to MUMSRU from her new home in Michigan,
Saana’s story is one of tragedy and hope of a better life, coming out the other
side to where she is now.

Born and raised in Baghdad, Saana lived
with her parents, brothers and sisters in the bustling city. As she got older
Saana found love, getting married and welcoming a child into the world. She and
her husband continued to live happily in Baghdad with their little one. Their
joy would soon double once they realised a second child was on the way and a
little girl was born in 2005 to complete their happiness. Unfortunately that
joy was short-lived as, not long after her daughter’s birth, Saana’s husband
got kidnapped.

“One Monday night in 2005, not long after
my daughter was born my husband was kidnapped by one of the criminal gangs that
were rampant in Baghdad at the time. It was a horrifying experience which made
me feel scared and lonely. Thankfully my in-laws, who were living with me at
the time, were on hand to help when they could. Having lost two sons to the
conflict, one of whom was my husband, they understood my pain and the need to
stick together in these dark times.” To this day Saana still has no idea what
has become of her husband, whether he is alive or not, but still holds out hope
that they can be reunited one day as a family.

Saana made the decision she was going to
leave Baghdad in order to make a new life in the US. While getting ready to
make her way out of Iraq, Saana strove to make sure her
children’s lives remained as normal as possible, a normality which still
exists.

“I experienced great support from my husband’s side of the
family as well as mine. My brothers and sisters and my mother are always there
for me always checking up on me to see how I’m doing. My husband’s cousins are
also very good to me and I’m so blessed to have such beautiful souls around me
to keep me motivated.”

Despite
being a single mother, Saana’s determination nor resolve ever waivered thanks
to one thing – her kids.

“My kids keep me strong. I always look at them and
see how they are growing and how they need a good role model in their life. I
would like to say no matter the situation, and how hard times may be, you have
to find hope. You have to seek something and it may be only one thing, but find
what encourages you. Something or someone that will be proud of you. In my
case, my hope was my kids. I never wanted them to feel any different from other
kids so I always tried my hardest to be there for them.”

Saana and her children undertook the perilous journey out of Baghdad
and, after much travelling, they came out the other side and have settled in a
suburb of Michigan, Detroit where they have been happily living for the past
fifteen years, where Saana has been working as a cosmetologist, handling business
life and ‘mummy life’ as best she can, but admits it’s now easier than it was.

“It was hard for me to take care of the kids when they were younger,
but has gotten easier as they have grown up and gotten older. The simple tasks
they couldn’t perform as younger children are now second nature to them, giving
them a sense of independence. I now can go to work and simply call them to see
how they’re doing and how everything is going.”

Earlier this year, Saana received an award which recognises her
story and the courage and determination it took for her to achieve her goal, an
achievement made all the sweeter because it was made possible by her favourite
singer, fellow Assyrian Linda George. Like Saana, Linda left Baghdad for a
better life, having already achieved success from a young age as a singer. This
success has grown since, with Linda recording fourteen albums and having worked
also as a model. She was awarded the Golden Voice by the Assyrian American
National Federation in 1997. Speaking of her pride at becoming Woman Of The
Year, Saana had this to say;

“Linda George has always been my favourite singer so to be
recognised by her is such an honour. I was going through a very rough time and
her music has always been an inspiration to me. She has made me feel so proud
of what I have accomplished and encouraged me to push further for bigger and
better things.”

Finally, asked if she had a message for those still enduring
difficult times, both in her homeland and all over the world, Saana has a clear
message. “No matter how difficult things get and no matter the situation, never
lose hope. Seek that thing which encourages you and hold on to it. In my case
it was my kids who inspire me daily. It makes me proud every day to see how
they have grown and honoured I have been a good role model for them.”




Children and the law: a guide to lesbian parenting

Deciding to co-parent a child or children with your lesbian partner or wife can be exciting but complicated. You may decide to foster or adopt a child, conceive by artificial or donor insemination, co-parent with a third party, or you and your partner may already have children from previous relationships. This legal guide gives information about your legal status as a child’s birth mother, non-birth mother or step parent. It also looks at the legal status of your child’s biological father. Rights of Women publishes a number of other legal guides that may be useful including Children and the law: the Family Court process and Children and the law: parental responsibility. You can access our full range of legal guides at www.rightsofwomen.org.uk

What does it mean to be a legal parent?

A child can only have two legal parents. Being a child’s legal parent means:

  • You have financial responsibility for the child which includes paying child maintenance if the child does not live with you
  • You will be considered parent and child for the purposes of British nationality, inheritance and pension rights

Who are the legal parents?

The birth mother will automatically be one of the child’s legal
parents. We refer to the birth mother rather than the biological mother
because in England and Wales, the law says that whoever gives birth to
the child is the legal mother (even if she used donated eggs).

The identity of the other parent depends on how the child was conceived and in what circumstances.

If the child was conceived through sperm donation at a UK registered
clinic, the second legal parent will be chosen on the paperwork at the
clinic at the time of the sperm donation.

If the child was conceived through sexual intercourse or through
artificial insemination (but not at a UK registered clinic) the other
legal parent will be the biological father. However, if the birth mother
is married or in a civil partnership at the time of conception, and the
child was conceived through artificial insemination, the husband, wife
or civil partner will be the child’s other legal parent, even if they
are not the biological parent.

The only way that you can change a child’s legal parents is by
adopting the child, or if there has been a surrogacy arrangement,
through a parental order. If a child is adopted then the adoptive
parents will become the legal parents and the birth/biological parents
will no longer be legal parents or have parental responsibility. For
more information about surrogacy, seek specialist advice.

What is parental responsibility (PR)?

The law says that PR is:

all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authorities
which by law a parent of a child has in relation to the child and the
child’s property

People with PR can make or be involved in the important decisions
necessary in a child’s life including issues relating to where a child
should live, their education and health, their name, religion and
whether they can travel or live abroad.

Any number of people can have PR for a child. This means that it is
possible for more than two people to share parental responsibility for a
child.

Birth mother

As your child’s birth mother you are automatically your child’s legal
parent and you have PR. The only way you can lose PR and legal
parentage is if your child is adopted (unless your child is adopted by
you and your partner).

If you are the civil partner or wife of the birth mother

Child conceived after 6 April 2009

If your civil partner or wife conceived a child after 6 April 2009
through artificial insemination (at a clinic or at home), you and your
civil partner/ wife will be the child’s legal parents and will both have
parental responsibility. This is true whether the sperm donor is known
or unknown. You should ensure both of your names are registered on the
child’s birth certificate, for the sake of clarity.

If your wife or civil partner conceived a child after 6 April 2009
through sexual intercourse with a man, you will not automatically have
any rights to the child.

Child conceived before 6 April 2009

If your wife or civil partner conceived a child before 6 April 2009 you will not automatically have any rights to the child.

How to obtain PR for your wife or civil partner’s child

If you are married or in a civil partnership with the birth mother,
you can obtain PR by either entering into a parental responsibility
agreement (PR Agreement) or applying to the court of a parental
responsibility order (PR Order). For more information about PR see Children and the law: parental responsibility.

PR Agreements:

Entering into a PR Agreement is straightforward. If the father of the
child or anyone else has PR, he will need to be involved in signing the
PR Agreement or be notified of your application for a PR Order.  You,
your partner and the child’s father (if he has PR) will need to complete
a form C(PRA2) which you can download from the HMCTS website. The form
will need to be signed in the presence of a court official at your local
county court or family court and you will need to bring along the
child’s birth certificate and your photo ID. You then send two copies of
the form to the Central Family Court, First Avenue House, 42-49 High
Holborn, London, WC1V 6NP.

PR Orders:

If the father or someone else who has PR does not consent to the PR
Agreement, you can apply to the Family Court for a PR order. You make
this application on a Form C1, which you can download from the HMCTS
website. If the child’s father has PR, he will need to be notified and
involved in the court proceedings.

If you are not married/ in a civil partnership with the birth mother

Child conceived outside of a licenced fertility clinic:

If your partner conceived a child at home (not at a licenced
fertility clinic), and you are not married or in a civil partnership,
you will not automatically have any rights to the child.

Child conceived at a licenced fertility clinic:

If your partner conceives a child at a licenced fertility clinic, you
can both give your written consent to the clinic for you to be the
child’s second legal parent. The child will have no legal father and you
and the birth mother will have equal parental rights and
responsibilities and you can be named on the birth certificate. Either
you or your partner can withdraw consent any time before the sperm, egg
or embryo transfer.

If your partner conceives at a licenced fertility clinic and you do
not want to be the child’s second parent, you should sign a form
indicating that you do not want to be the second parent of the child.

How to obtain PR if you are not married to or in a civil partnership with the birth mother

If you have not married or entered a civil partnership with the birth
mother, and you do not already have PR for the child then you can
obtain it by applying to the family court for a child arrangements order
stating that the child lives with you or with you and your partner. If
the order says the child ‘lives with’ you then you automatically have PR
for the child. Another option would be to adopt the child which would
make you one of the child’s legal parents. See Adoption for further
information.

Child arrangements order

A child arrangements order is an order which states who the child
lives with and when, and who the child spends time with and when.  Child
arrangements orders have replaced what were previously known as
residence orders and contact orders. Applying for a child arrangements
order involves an application to your local Family Court. A child
arrangements order stating that the child lives with you or with you and
your partner will give you PR for your partner’s child.

If you have been living with your partner’s child for a period of 3 years in the last 5 years you will automatically be able to make an application for a child arrangement s order. If not, you will need the permission of everyone who already has PR for the child – her mother and perhaps her father. If you do not have permission from everyone who has PR you will have to get the permission of the court in an application for leave. To obtain the court’s permission you will have to satisfy the court that you have a connection with the child and that the proposed application would not disrupt the child’s life. For further information see the guide on Children and the law: when parents separate.

Adoption

Civil partners and married couples can adopt a child together as a
couple. This means that you will be able to adopt a child who has no
biological connection with either of you. Adoption involves a fairly
lengthy and complex procedure involving an assessment by Social Services
and court proceedings.

If the child you are adopting has a known biological father who has
PR he will need to be part of any court proceedings and if he does not
agree to the adoption the court will have to decide whether adoption is
in the child’s best interests. When the court looks at whether adoption
is in the child’s best interests one of the factors that it has to take
into account is the fact that if adopted by you the father would lose PR
and all legal status in the child’s life. The court may not agree to an
adoption where, for example, the father has played an active role in
the child’s life and the court believes it is in the child’s best
interests for this to continue.

Once you have adopted a child you will gain PR and become the child’s
legal parent. Adoption is therefore a more permanent option than a
child arrangements order. Seek legal advice if you are considering
adopting a child.

Fostering a child

Another way in which you and your partner can become involved in
parenting a child is to become foster parents. For more information
about fostering contact your Local Authority.

Fathers from previous relationships

A father to whom you or your partner are or were married will
automatically have PR for any child of that marriage. If you were not
married then whether or not he will have PR will depend on your child’s
date of birth, whether he is on the birth certificate or whether he
obtained PR through other ways (see Children and the law: parental responsibility).
If the father does have PR he has the right to be involved in all the
important decisions you make during your child’s upbringing. He has the
right to apply to the court for orders in relation to your child
including child arrangements orders. He will need to be involved in any
court proceedings about your child.

He will also have a legal financial responsibility to his child. See this guide on Children and the law: child maintenance.

Known donors

If you are married or are in a civil partnership and you or your
partner/wife conceive a child outside of a licensed fertility clinic
using a known donor, the donor will not have any legal rights to the
child and both you and your civil partner/wife will have PR.

If you are not in a civil partnership/married and you conceive a
child outside of a fertility clinic in the UK with a known donor, for
example at home, the donor will be the legal father of your child and
will automatically have certain legal rights and your partner will have
no legal rights to the child. You will need to discuss what involvement
he will have in your child’s life. If you cannot reach an agreement or
if the agreement breaks down you or the donor can apply to the court for
a child arrangements order.

One important decision you will have to make is whether his name
should be registered on the birth certificate. If your child was born on
or after 1st December 2003 or registration took place after this date
and the father’s name was registered on the birth certificate, he will
automatically have PR for your child and the right to an involvement in
all the important decisions you make in your child’s upbringing. If he
is not registered on the birth certificate, he will not automatically
have PR but he could obtain it by entering into a PR Agreement with you
or applying to the court for a PR Order. Whether or not he has PR or is
named on the birth certificate, he will also have a legal financial
responsibility for his child. As you will not be living together you can
apply to the Child Maintenance Service for child maintenance, for more
information see Children and the law: child maintenance.

Assisted conception and anonymous donors

If you use an anonymous donor at a fertility clinic, the anonymous
donor will not have any legal status in relation to your child and will
have no involvement in their life. However, children born by anonymous
after April 2005, will have the right to receive information about their
donor when they are 18 years old.

Co-parenting agreements

If you decide to co-parent with friends, it can be helpful to enter a
co-parenting agreement which deals with important questions as to how
you will raise your child. The agreement may deal with questions such as
how much time your child will spend with each of you, what religious
education your child will receive, what will happen if you or the other
parents separate or form new relationships and who will contribute
financially to your child’s upbringing. Whilst a co-parenting agreement
can be a useful roadmap to navigate future parenting disagreements, it
is important to be aware that these agreements are not legally binding
documents and you cannot rely on them in court.

What if we separate?

The courts have recognised that non-birth lesbian co-parents have an
important ongoing role in their child’s life following relationship
breakdown. Your rights will depend on your legal relationship to your
partner and child. If you and your partner share PR for your child you
can both apply for child arrangements orders to determine who the child
lives with and how much contact the child should have with the other
parent or if there should be shared care.

If you already have a child arrangements order (or residence order),
the part of the order which states who the child lives with will last
until the child is 18 years old. If you and your partner separate either
one of you can apply to change or discharge the order. To discharge an
order means to cancel it.  Discharging the order would mean the
non-birth mother would lose her PR unless there is a PR Agreement or PR
Order in place.

If you adopted a child together you will both remain that child’s legal parents despite your separation and either of you will be able to apply to the court for orders concerning her or him without first having to obtain the court’s permission. Neither of you will lose PR for the child. For further information on all of these issues see this legal guides Children and the law: parental responsibility and Children and the law: when parents separate.

The law is complex and may have changed since this guide was
produced.  This guide is designed to provide general information only
for the law in England and Wales.   You should seek up-to-date,
independent legal advice. 

Rights of Women does not accept responsibility for any reliance placed on the legal information contained in this guide.

Useful contacts

Finding a solicitor
The Law Society – 0207 320 5650 –  www.lawsociety.org.uk/find-a-solicitor/
Ministry of Justice – 020 3334 3555 – www.find-legal-advice.justice.gov.uk/
Resolution – 01689 820272 – www.resolution.org.uk/

Emergency contacts
Police (emergency) – 999
24 hour domestic violence helpline – 0808 200 0247 – www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk
National LGBT Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0800 999 5428 – www.galop.org.uk




How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back (and Keep Him) in 7 Steps

It doesn’t matter who broke up and why, you want him back no matter what. How do you get him back? What works, what doesn’t and why? Make sure you don’t mess up, or he might never want to hear about you again, let alone get back together. Here are 7 tips to help you make him love you more than ever.

There’s a reason he’s your ex-boyfriend, and your job is to erase that reason out of his memory – forever. He’s out there, dating other women with more or less success. Is he still thinking about you, does he still love you; does he also want to get back together?

Who knows! Maybe he does, maybe not. Either way, you want to hook up again because you’ve realized you still love him. Every other guy you meet can’t match his qualities and this just makes you go insane. Every date you go on with some new guy seems boring and shallow, you find yourself comparing him to your ex and this makes you feel even worse.

It’s time to get THAT guy back into your life.

But how?

Smack him over the head with a brick, throw him in the trunk of your car and take him home. Okay, maybe not. Let’s try something subtler.

Here’s how to get your ex-boyfriend back:

You need to make him feel terrible for breaking up with you. He should feel like a dumbass for letting you go. That’s what you need to make him feel like if you want to get him back. You won’t get him back by spying and stalking him (stop checking his Facebook every 2 minutes), but by making him remember all the great times you had together, and making him imagine how nicer life could be if you were still together.

This requires you to make some radical changes in your life.

Stop and give at least 30 seconds of thought to each of the questions below. Answer honestly; Say it out loud to yourself.

  • What is it that went wrong in your relationship?
  • Why?
  • What is it that he did not like about your relationship?
  • What would you do differently if you got back together?
  • What did he love most about your relationship?
  • What did you love most?
  • What was restricting the love in your relationship the most? What was stopping it from growing further?
  • Did you give your absolute best to make the relationship work?

Think about these questions. Don’t be too critical of either him or yourself. All this emotional bullshit, arguing and blaming each other for crap is one of the reasons you might have broken up in the first place.

We rarely know what we have – until we lose it.

Now you know what you’ve lost, and you are about to get it back. Nobody can guarantee you that you’ll end up being together again – but, in at least 90% of the cases, it’s totally possible. You must believe in the possibility.

  • Why did you guys fall for each other in the first place?
  • What connected you?

There must have been something that he fell in love with in the first place.

  • Why did this disappear?
  • Did you take each other for granted?
  • Did you both get lazy about your relationship and just left it on autopilot?

The reason you must answer these questions to yourself is so that you can determine a couple of things. First, do you really want to get him back, will you be happy or are you just lonely right now, but deep inside you know that it probably won’t work out if you get back together? You must believe that things will work out between the two of you and that you can be happy together again. Otherwise, if you don’t have total belief in this relationship, then it’s not worth trying to get him back.

I’ll assume you’ve decided that things can work out between you and him, so now, the question is – what can you do so that he believes in your relationship too?

#1 Get Better

 

As mentioned above, you need to be better than what he remembers you to be. Hotter. Way hotter. This can be a huge motivator to any guy to get back together. It’s important that you don’t see each other for some time, and then once you do – he is just blown away by how much prettier you’ve become.

This will make him feel horrible that he can’t have you anymore whenever he wants. Desire kicks in, and now he feels like an idiot for not staying with you. After he runs into you, he’ll think “Gosh, she looks amazing!” – just wait to see his jaw drop when he sees how you look 5 times better. I know this sounds shallow, but it works simply because most guys think with what they’ve got in their pants, not with their heart or brain. Even if he’s a pretty smart guy, physical attraction can be the first step to getting your ex-boyfriend back. It’s just the first step, but it’s a crucial one – ’cause now you’ve got your foot in the door. You throw a hook and wait for him to bite.

#2 Forgive Him

 

The second step to getting your ex back is forgiveness. You’ll never be able to be together again if you can’t forgive each other. Initiate this yourself. Why did you break up? Did you cheat, did he cheat, did the love evaporate, or you got bored, what is it? It doesn’t really matter the point is that you give each other a clean slate. Don’t talk about what happened in the past with him.

Start over. Click the reset button. Whatever he did wrong – get over it. Forgive yourself if you’ve made mistakes and forgive him, you are both guilty in one way or another, and reminding each other about it won’t help. You can’t get back together if you are enemies, so stay close to each other by forgiving. Let the past go. Every day is a new opportunity for you to have a better life with a great guy, maybe it’s him – and now that you’re starting over, you’ve learned from your mistakes, but you can continue on only when you manage to forgive.

#3 Don’t Find a New Guy

 

Listen, sure, finding some new dude may be okay for you as a bandade, but it won’t help you get your ex-boyfriend back. You should make him jealous in a smarter way. Like, he should see that there are guys mingling around you, but don’t let him see that you’ve actually found someone. Don’t post stupid, drunken-party pictures on Facebook of you making out with some random dude.

That definitely won’t help, he’ll just hate you and he’ll feel hurt, almost as if you were cheating on him. Instead… he has to see that you are still emotionally available for him, you just need some space and time to heal after your break up. Hint him that you might like to get back together, but don’t attack him about it. Give him space and see how he reacts.

#4 Change Yourself

 

Look, if you’re serious about this guy and you really want him back in your life, then you must change. Changing may not be easy, but it’s necessary if you want your relationship to be better than the last time. It’s quite simple. If you keep doing what you’ve been doing – you’ll keep getting the same results. So don’t expect a happily ever after, supercool happy ending if you aren’t willing to do things differently than you did before, otherwise you’ll just end up breaking up again.

So, find out what messed up your relationship and work on it. Were you too cranky, moody, jealous, demanding, insane, nagging-all-day, not giving him his space and freedom, disrespectful, got fat, made out with another guy, or you just sucked in bed? Whichever it was – fix it. He needs to see that, after a month or so of breaking up, you are progressing; suddenly you became a different person. But do it for you, not for him. Once he sees how much different you became he’ll wish you never broke up in the first place, he’ll want to give the whole thing another chance too.

#5 Initiate Contact

Now, it’s time to actually get back in touch with your ex. It depends; maybe you didn’t see each other, or talk, for months, or even a year. Maybe you just broke up two weeks ago and everything is still very emotional and fresh. Either way, you can’t get back together with him over the phone, so you need to see each other.

My suggestion, from a male perspective, having sex immediately once you meet up again may be a wrong choice. Even if you’ve been together for a long time before, it’s good to make everything seem new, and different. If he messed up, and that’s the reason you broke up, you shouldn’t make it that easy for him to get back together. Throw in some temptation.

He needs to desire you, a lot. Be sexy and provocative, but don’t sleep together the first time you meet to “catch up” and see whether he also wants to get back together or not. Let him think about you. Drop a hook, and make him feel horrible when he sees how much you’ve improved, how well you are doing, how sexy you look and how your life is taking another direction. Don’t try to fake it. He knows you and he’ll know whether you’re full of crap or not.

For real, change yourself for the better; let him see that and he’ll want to be part of it. But you won’t let him back into your world overnight – even if you really, really want to get him back, don’t. You both need some time to appreciate each other for other things then sex. And when the sex does come, it better be mind-blowing. Then again, don’t be clingy and don’t call him every day after that – love all over again – instead, take your time. Let him think about you and worry a bit.

You had sex, but do you want to get back together or not? Let him wonder and guess, let him compare you to other women he might have been with since you were apart. He’ll soon realize what a mistake he’s made, and he’ll never want to make that mistake (breaking up with you) again.

The point isn’t just that you get your ex back, but that you KEEP him. Often folks just have sex again, once or twice, but things don’t work out and they end up breaking up again. So don’t take anything for granted. Make sure he has the best night of his life when you make up, but after that don’t drop into your “old” relationship with your ex, instead – create something new.

Keep it different. All the bad experiences you had in the past with him, everything that reminds you of those not-so-happy experiences – try to avoid them. Change your apartment if you can, move, have some tangible things that are different, clothes, your perfume, anything that makes him feel as if he was with a new you, a better you, that he’ll never want to let go no matter what.

When you guys meet up for dinner/coffee, whatever, don’t talk about the past , why you broke up and stuff like that. Ask him what’s new in his life, how he’s doing, maybe remind him of something nice that only you know about him that you can both laugh about it. Keep the conversation light. Super-emotional, could-a, would-a, should-a stuff will just bring you back to where you were.

Then and there, don’t analyze, argue or talk about negative stuff. Turn the page. Keep walking in a new direction. It’s your ex-boyfriend that will become your new girlfriend, it’s you – his ex-girlfriend, that will become a new girlfriend. Give each other a clean slate. When you leave the place, don’t kiss. Give him a deep gaze, let your eyes, not your mouth say: I love you.

Let him see it, but don’t say it. Tell him you had a great time, and that you could meet up some time to hang out… he will feel like his leg was chopped of for not kissing, but he will know that you want more, that there might be a new, bright future for the two of you. All night he’ll be flipping around in bed, thinking about how beautiful you are and how much he wants to get back with you. I’m not saying you should be ice-cold when you meet up, on the contrary, be cold, but a bit mysterious, make him wonder.

Don’t just throw it in his face that you still love him and that you want him back. Be stronger than your emotions. Give the whole “getting back together” process some time; make a good foundation for that future you’ll build together.

 

#6 The Night of His Life

 

Okay, as mentioned before, eventually, you’ll end up at his or your place, taking your clothes off. This night is what will decide whether you’ll get him back or not. I know this sounds shallow, but it’s the truth.

Men are comparing creatures and whether you want him to or not, he’ll subconsciously compare you to other women in his life. Maybe he’s with some new girl right now, and that’s the one you need to take him back from. How do you make sure that this won’t just be a one-night-stand with your ex-boyfriend?

You must be mind-blowing. Everything about you needs to blow his mind. From your lingerie, to your smell, your look, your soft skin, your whole energy and aura needs to excite him to a level he did not know is possible. The moment when he reaches climax is the moment he’ll figure how brilliant you are and how stupid he was to ever leave you.

This may put pressure on you and make you feel self-conscious, and it should. The fact is, you conquer a man’s heart by conquering what’s in his pants, like no other woman ever could. Everything after that is easier. Yet again, this night needs to be different than in the past. It should not remind you too much of the time you were together before, it needs to be better.

This is why it’s ideal if you do it at your place, ’cause then you can prepare a bit, you can make the atmosphere amazing. Anything you’ve not been doing in the past, but know he loves, now’s the time to get with the program. You never gave him oral when you were together before? Are you too shy to talk dirty? Do you hide under the cover?

Think about what you could do better to show him the best night of his life with you and you’ll triple your chances of getting him back.

Hate me all you want for telling you this, but it’s what works and what has worked for thousands of women around the world that got back and kept their ex-boyfriends.

#7 Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Seems like you’ll get him back. You’ve seen each other a couple of times and things are going good. It seems like all will work out great! But wait, and re-think it. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking all is good now and that you’ll just be fine… you may not. People that get back together tend to go back to their old, real ways, because they did not make any real, fundamental changes to their lives.

It was just a mask. Beware, as if you both go back to your old ways of arguing and dealing with problems, you’ll get back to where you were – apart.  Don’t let that happen. Don’t get lazy and don’t take things for granted. The first few weeks of being together again as also the first few weeks where he’s most likely to “run for his life” and leave you or just decide that you shouldn’t have gotten back together in the first place.

How can you prevent this? Really, change. Make him change too. When you become better, you have the right to expect him to get better too. Build a relationship where you grow and improve together as individuals and partners, not enemy’s that slow each other’s progress down. He is not yours and never will be, not even when you both have a ring on your finger, so don’t view him as a thing you’ve got a right over, like owning a car or your shoes.

He can walk away and probably will if you treat him as property. Instead, view him as a customer. You want to make a loyal customer out of your boyfriend that isn’t forced to buy at your shop, but loves to “shop” at your store because he gets treated better than anywhere else. He then grows to need you, love you, and want you – every single day.

There’s more to getting your ex back than this post of course. Every situation is different and requires a slightly different approach. Hopefully at least one tip from above rings a bell and gets you closer on your path to getting Mr. Right back to where he should be, with you, the perfect girlfriend for him.  Once you get him back, don’t take him for granted – a relationship… love… is something you must work on and maintain so that the fire keeps burning, if you just leave it unattended it’ll either go out or get out of proportion and burn down a whole forest.

Laziness is why most relationships fail, and that’s what happens when people take each other for granted. Don’t be one of those couples. Take initiative if he doesn’t, you can totally do it! I believe in you.

 

p.s.: Here’s the 8th step – DO NOTHING. It’s a bit unexpected, but can work to. Simply, don’t call him, don’t try to get back in touch (if he left you), and just wait, forget about him, move on… show power by not making the first move, he’ll wonder how come you didn’t try to get him back. It might be an alternative idea. If nothing else works.

Once you get him back – drop a comment below, let us know what has worked for you, what you did, how and why? Others could benefit from your experience.

Jason



Felicity Huffman Prison Life’s a Mixed Bag … Work On Your Tan, But Also Make Your Bed

Felicity Huffman won’t be doing hard time when she spends 2 weeks behind bars, but it ain’t Hollywood glamour either … she can do some sunbathing, but only after she makes her bed.

©Tmz.com

The actress is turning herself in to FCI Dublin Oct. 25, where she will serve her 14 days for her role in the college bribery scandal … and we’ve got an inside look at what Felicity’s life will be like.

Upon entry, Felicity will be stripped searched and then she’ll get a jumpsuit, with 3 pairs of underwear. She’ll get a hygiene kit with a comb, deodorant, toothbrush and some crappy toothpaste, plus a roll of toilet paper. She better conserve her squares — Felicity gets one roll of TP every other week, which in her case means the roll needs to last her entire stay.

Felicity will be required to make her bed by 6:30 AM every
weekday morning. On the weekends, she’ll have to straighten up her
prison cot by 10 AM. No maids, of course.

Most of her time will be spent inside, but Felicity can still catch some rays. Sunbathing is allowed at FCI Dublin, but only on the sun decks from 4 PM Friday until 8:30 PM Sunday. BTW … inmates get at least 1 hour of recreation time each day.

As we reported … Felicity was sentenced Friday, in what is clearly a spectacular loss for prosecutors.

Prison food generally sucks — just ask Bill Cosby — and Felicity will sit down for lunch from 11:30 AM to 12:30 PM every day, but she can’t leave the mess hall with anything more than a piece of fruit.

Felicity will mix with the rest of the prison pop … the
inmates have a common area complete with TVs, cards and board games.
Fair to guess … she’ll be Mrs. Popular.

Hear that??? It’s Lori Loughlin breathing a huge sigh of relief.

www.tmz.com