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Sweet Dreams – why do we dream of people who have passed away?

 

Hi everyone, I have received many messages from people who have been experiencing dreams about loved ones who have passed away.
Many tell me that their loved ones are children again, or much younger and happier than they were when they passed.
Others say they dream of a parent sitting or standing beside them.
Pets can also vividly appear in our dreams.

To dream of a loved one who has passed away is a blessing.
There is so much about the universe and beyond that we are yet to discover. The afterlife remains our biggest mystery, and not until our own final moment on Earth will we ever know what happens next.
Yet despite this mystery, our subconscious is able to keep precious memories alive through our dreams. We are so lucky to receive vivid reminders of those we have loved and lost as we sleep.
After death are we younger, happier, more free in spirit?
Parents standing or sitting by our side….are they still watching over us, supporting us through their dream presence as we sleep?

It is a comfort to know that despite our loss of a loved one, we can at times, as we sleep, feel their presence and know that somehow their memory and spirit lives on within us. Somehow they are still with us, and for just a moment, the physical connection is brought back to life.
Is this a sign that love is eternal?
Life goes on, and we cry many tears for those we lose.
Feel blessed when you dream of a loved one who has passed away. It could truly be the most beautiful miracle of all.

Sweet Dreams x     https://www.facebook.com/dreamsanalysis/

What’s the difference between depression and burnout?

 

 

The difference between depression and burnout is not always easy to see. There are even certain diagnosis tools which do not differentiate between them and therefore not see burnout as a separate disorder. If we were to compare burnout to other mental disorders, it is most similar to depression. Therefore, the difference between depression and burnout is not always evident.

What do the psychiatrists say?

Even though diagnosis tools do not consider burnout to be a separate disease, psychiatrists do state that burnout is a separate disease. Burnout is generally defined as an extreme exhaustion after the body and mind have been exhausted and pushed too far, according to them.

Is it therefore easy to differentiate between depression and burnout? Definitely not. Depression and burnout namely are very similar to each other and are often seen together, too.

Difference between depression and burnout: the symptoms

Depression and burnout are very similar to each other. Here, there are symptoms which match the both of them. The following examples are among them:

  • Concentration issues
  • Memory issues
  • Sleeping issues
  • Exhausted feeling

The symptoms above apply to both depression and burnout. If psychiatrists then want to set a diagnosis, they will often notice that the same tests can be used for both the diagnosis. The results, which are then found in the tests, can thus point at both depression and burnout.

So you see that it is really difficult to define the difference between depression and burnout. In the following paragraph we will give clear differences, so that you get a clearer picture of the symptoms.

The clear difference between depression and burnout

The first difference between depression and burnout is that depression is more general. Depression will namely affect several parts in life and can also develop from different parts in life, such as:

  • Your family
  • Your friends
  • Your hobbies

Burnout is generally work related. Of course the stress which you experience at work can affect your relationship, but in depression this is often more clearly seen. Furthermore, a burnout tends to develop from a work situation, while depression can develop in a more general way. A burnout can eventually also influence other parts of life, like a depression, but this is more likely to occur in a later stage. (Iacovides, Fountoulakis, Kaprinis & Kaprinis, 2003). Depression on the other hand, can have a quick and large influence on several parts of life, while burnout will limit itself to work for a longer period of time.

Difference between depression and burnout: occurring together?

Depression and burnout can also occur together. It is not unlikely that a severe burnout can also cause depression symptoms.

Slyther-in to something more comfortable!

Female Harry Potter fans, have you ever wanted to cast a spell over your other half in the bedroom? Whether it’s for the bedroom or just for fun, becoming the sexiest member of house Gryffindor is now a reality thanks to the latest in new range of underwear that’s fun to wear. Who needs Hermione Grainger and Ginny Weasley when you can make your own magic thanks to this raunchy bedroom costume?

Launched by Yandy.com, the Harry Potter ‘Magic Student Fantasy Lingerie Set’ looks set to be a hit among fans of the franchise. The set compromises of a sheer grey lace crop top with a white collar, a sheer, burgundy high-waisted panty with a grey lace trim, a cheeky cut back, removable burgundy and gold suspenders, and a matching striped tie (glasses not included). As of now, the set is only available in the Gryffindor colours of Harry’s house and there are no plans as yet to include Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff or Slytherin, indicating that romance between houses is prohibited. However, if you’re a fan of wholesome Cho Chang or Bellatrix Lestrange, we won’t tell.

The Potter set is part of a fantasy section in the classy lingerie site which includes sexy superheroes and red hot princesses and is available for pre-order now. Fittingly the set was launched on July 31st, Harry’s birthday.

The set is hoping to prove hugely popular with fans and non-fans of the franchise, flying out the door faster than the speediest of Quidditch players. It is advised to get your order in quick so you can say ‘Expelliarmus’ to your lover’s clothes and ensure the night ends with ‘Mischief Managed!’

 

Reasons to Date a Low-Maintenance Woman

It’s easy to make a low-maintenance woman happy. That’s because she enjoys the simple things in life—an afternoon by a fish ball cart can pass for the best date she’s ever had, as long as you’ve shown her a great time. She doesn’t expect you to always have your best foot forward. She’d rather have you honest and relaxed because that just means you’re comfortable around each other.

On a regular day, you’ll see her in a classic shirt-and-pants ensemble, which she accents with a tailored coat or a casual jacket, depending on the occasion. She prefers flats and sneakers over heels because she doesn’t like being restricted by what she wears when she’s off on one of her many adventures. She’s straightforward, practical, but somehow still remains to be the classiest woman you’ve seen, and that’s probably because she’s content with who she is.

There’s no use worrying about a low-maintenance woman; she can handle things by herself. You don’t need to drive her around or buy her things that she likes. She can do all that without your help. Independence is her second name, and while she appreciates that she can rely on you, she treats you as her equal. Respect her enough to treat her the same. She was strong on her own before she ever met you, and she still is now.

A low-maintenance woman does not ask for a lot. It’s easy to purchase gifts, but she knows the weight of love and loyalty, which is why she values them more than those that are tangible. A low-maintenance woman is, after all, still a woman with high standards, and she will never allow herself to be treated less than what she knows to be her true value.

As much as you enjoy the lightness of her company, remember that she is her own person: She may fall in a dark place if ever you make the silly and illogical decision to leave her, but she won’t stay there for long. She’ll rise above and beyond you without bitterness and complication, because that’s the way she is.

So do yourself a favor and stay a while. She may teach you a thing or two about living and loving. Dating a low-maintenance woman is more than just being with someone who enjoys cheap thrills; it’s about being with someone who finds beauty in simplicity.

Reasons to Date a Woman with High Standards

 

A woman with high standards is a woman who knows what she wants. When she sets the bar for who she chooses to be with, it doesn’t mean that she’s immediately a red-heeled tigress who eats men’s souls for lunch. Standards are relative, and this woman, in her confident smile and intriguing sensibilities, simply knows exactly what she’s looking for.

She is any lady who knows how and when to compromise, but doesn’t take less than what she knows she deserves. She’s honest, open, and admittedly at times, too-wide eyed: There will be always a point when she hopes to marry into real-life royalty, but at the end of the day she just wants a prince who’ll help with the dishes in a cozy home.

She isn’t afraid to venture out, but won’t think twice about staying within her familiar haunts when she feels like it. She can either actively look for love or simply choose to sit in a coffee shop without even trying. However she does it, the point is that she won’t just date anyone (unlike before), because now, she knows better. Yes, she may have been hurt before, and she has also made mistakes, but haven’t we all?

A woman with standards knows that the person who’s worth her time will understand her worth, and treat her right. She is someone who has confidence and ambition, and while at times she may question her own abilities, she never fails to go beyond her insecurities when it truly counts. She doesn’t stand at the sidelines watching life pass her by; she jumps right in the flow and expects whomever she chooses to be with to do the same. She understands that a partner isn’t the person to fix her, but someone who can help her smoothen out her edges while celebrating her identity, and vice versa.

In the same vein, a woman with high standards for her future partner sets even higher ones for herself.

She knows that she has to bring something to the table. She isn’t looking for someone too handsome, or too rich, or too smart. She’s looking for one who can match her in every possible way. That’s where her standards for both herself and her man are coming from; the definite desire to find that one soul excited about the same worthwhile life she has dreamed of. At the end of the day, it’s not really about high standards, just values.

So yes, date a woman with standards. Date a woman who knows her worth, because finding someone who can stand on her own means being with someone who can stand with you.

How to let go?

Still thinking about that ex after six months?;
Or about that guy you had a ‘crush on’ but waited too long, ‘I should of said something!’;
Or how can I trust again after my last bad relationship/s?

How do we deal with the memories that haunt us, taunt us and make us question ourselves; what is wrong with me? Humans have, and always will be, emotional beings. Everything we do in life is defined by how we feel about ourselves and the outside world. Sometimes that’s a positive, sometimes a negative. We can laugh at jokes told hours before, smile about the things we love when they aren’t around OR even hold onto grudges for a lifetime over one poorly chosen and ill-willed sentence.

The why is simple; we have evolved to learn from our experiences by attaching emotional connections to reinforce the ‘desired’ lesson. Just as every day you spend with a lover increases your connection; so too can time apart strengthen a negative attachment. In simplest terms when spoken to our children, ‘Do not touch the stove or you will get burned.’ Yet for all our good intentions; we all know that curiosity and the inevitable painful consequences will be learned. In this case, after many scream filled tears, the lesson that you should never touch a stove will last that child’s lifetime.

So Tim, How do we move on? Well… My first answer is always the question, ‘why do you want to move on?’

Every time you reflect on an old flame, memory or experience; that is your brain reminding you of potential consequences of lessons learned, positive and negative. It’s that simple. Remember, our brains, or more so, our subconscious is not the enemy. It isn’t trying to confuse, trick or manipulate us just for the sake of it. It is simply answering the question based on the information you have given it. This is you…

You: I’m bored and not fully focused on this task, please bring up a selection of thoughts based on emotional importance to reinforce existing learning.
Brainoogle: Are you sure about that?
You: Not really but let’s roll the dice; C’mon happy thoughts….
Brainoogle: Let’s see… searching… Current stimulus = At Work ADD Most frequent thought cross referenced with emotional potency REMOVE results older than one year…
Loading… Loading…
Brainoogle: Here is a vivid memory of the time you caught your boyfriend cheating on you with your co-worker. QUE Chemical release attached emotion – Anger leading to heart wrenching sadness.
You: Where is that BI*CH! I’ll kill her! She ruined my life! I have nothing left! I’m useless!
Brainoogle: RELEASE TEARS… and my job is done for the next 30 minutes… time for my smoke break.

Like and share if you can relate.. But joke aside, it is important to understand that although you can’t always control what you think, you CAN CONTROL how you interpret these thoughts. Using cognitive restructuring YOU are able to reprogram these conditioned responses BUT it takes time and continued effort. You cannot just break the memory/emotion neurological process over night. The more we think about any one topic, the stronger the bond gets. It’s that simple. The reason you can’t move on, is because you keep thinking about how you can’t move on. The stimuli is only relevant so long as you keep reinforcing that emotional bond.

So here is the answer; and I know It’s not as easy as just switching off the thought. You can’t just stop thinking about it, that’s impossible. Every where you go, you will be reminded of the connection, it’s inevitable. This is your brain actively learning and improving. A very necessary function to human life… Example, you see a movie; ‘this is where we used to date’ ect ect. Excluding serious brain trauma/concussion, you can’t just erase memories.

So what do we do; this all leads back to my first question… See what I did there… *wink*

Until you have decided what you truly want, and you yourself believe it, you will never be able to ‘let go’. In many cases, people can get back together, and they can live happily ever after, and sometimes people learn to forgive and have meaningful friendships, and so on. OR you may decide that YOU WILL NEVER LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN!!!

Decide on a goal, weighing up the pro’s and con’s, and decide once and for all what you want, then try your best to achieve it and with success or failure you will have closure. Anything else is only reinforcing unhealthy mind sets.

You need to change the emotional attachment through sheer unwavering repetition. Every time you have that thought/memory, you need to remind yourself that the future is better than the past. You will be happier in the future! You may not be ‘happy’ now, but you know you are working to make a better future. You need to re-wire any thought you had, and reconstruct it with a positive outlook. Thinking about your ex? ‘you’re better off without them’. REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT.

There is no easy fix, and your brain is trying to help you avoid the same mistakes. The amazing thing is; after you have deconstructed and remade that memory chain, these very same thoughts you’re having now, will actually bring you joy in the future. When you start the next amazing connection, it will only add to the richness and vigor of those memories and create a happier, better you.

 

Have any questions or want more details? Find me at www.facebook.com/timreplies/

Legend of the month – Hugh Hefner

Who Was Hugh Hefner?

Born on April 9, 1926, in Chicago, Illinois, Hugh Hefner transformed the adult entertainment industry with his groundbreaking publication Playboy. From the first issue featuring Marilyn Monroe in December 1953, Playboy expanded into a multimillion-dollar enterprise mirroring the often controversial sensibilities of its founder. By the 1970s, Hefner set himself up at the Playboy Mansion West in California, remaining editor-in-chief of the magazine he founded. In more recent years he starred in the reality TV series The Girls Next Door.

Background and Early Life

Hugh Marston Hefner, born on April 9, 1926, in Chicago, Illinois, was the eldest of two sons born to Grace and Glenn Hefner, who were strict Methodists. Hefner went to Sayre Elementary School and then to Steinmetz High School, where, reportedly, his IQ was 152 though his academic performance was generally modest. While in high school, Hefner became president of the student council and founded a school newspaper—an early sign of his journalistic talents. He also created a comic book entitled School Daze, in which the generally reticent youngster was able to be at the center of his own imagined universe.

Hefner served two years in the U.S. Army as a noncombatant toward the end of World War II, and was discharged in 1946. He studied at the Chicago Art Institute for a summer before enrolling at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, where he majored in psychology. Hefner earned his bachelor’s degree in 1949, the same year he married his first wife, Mildred Williams. He later did a semester of graduate school work in the area of sociology, focusing on the sex research institute established by Alfred Kinsey.

By the early 1950s, Hefner had landed a copy-writing job at the Chicago office of Esquire magazine, which featured literary works by such writers as Ernest Hemingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald as well as illustrations from pinup artists like George Petty and Alberto Vargas. Hefner opted not to remain with the publication, which moved to New York, when he was denied a $5 raise.

Starting ‘Playboy’

Out on his own, Hefner was determined to start his own publication. He raised $8,000 from 45 investors—including $2,000 from his mother and brother Keith combined—to launch Playboy magazine. Hefner had planned to title the magazine “Stag Party” but was forced to change the name to avoid a trademark infringement with the existing Stag magazine. A colleague suggested the name “Playboy,” after a defunct automobile company. Hefner liked the name, as he thought it reflected high living and sophistication.

Hefner produced the first edition of Playboy out of his South Side home. It hit newsstands in December 1953, but did not carry a date because Hefner was unsure as to whether or not a second issue would be produced. To help ensure its success, Hefner had purchased a color photograph of actress Marilyn Monroe in the nude—which had been taken some years earlier—and placed it in the centerfold of the magazine. The first issue quickly sold more than 50,000 copies, and became an instant sensation.

America in the 1950s was attempting to distance itself from nearly 30 years of war and economic depression. For many, the magazine proved to be a welcome antidote to the sexual repression of the era. For those who initially dismissed the magazine as a pornographic publication, Playboy soon broadened its circulation with thoughtful articles and an urbane presentation.

Developing a Voice

The Playboy logo, depicting the stylized profile of a rabbit wearing a tuxedo bow tie, appeared in the second issue and remained the trademark icon of the brand. Hefner chose the rabbit for its “humorous sexual connotation” and because the image was “frisky and playful”—an image he fostered in the magazine’s articles and cartoons. Hefner wanted to distinguish his magazine from most other men’s periodicals, which catered to outdoorsmen and showcased he-man fiction. Hefner decided his magazine would instead cater to the cosmopolitan, intellectual male and feature more overt sexual imagery.

In a series of 25 editorial installments presented during the 1960s, Hefner promoted what became known as the “Playboy Philosophy.” An evolving manifesto on politics and governance, the philosophy espoused Hefner’s fundamental beliefs about free enterprise and the nature of man and woman, calling for what he viewed as reasoned discourse on the truths of human sexuality. However, Hefner never lost sight of the fact that it was pictures of nude women which ultimately sold the magazine.

Work on the publication consumed much of Hefner’s life and marriage. By the late ’50s, Playboy‘s circulation had surpassed that of rival magazine Esquire, with sales reaching a million copies a month. But personal issues loomed. Hefner and his first wife divorced in 1959 after having had two children, Christie and David. As a single man, Hefner had many girlfriends and became known for his romantic, unpretentious presence. Yet he also earned a reputation for being controlling and trying to enforce double standards.

The Golden Age

In the 1960s, Hugh Hefner became the persona of Playboy: the urbane sophisticate in the silk smoking jacket with pipe in hand. He adopted a wide range of pursuits and socialized with the famous and wealthy, always in the company of young, beautiful women. As the magazine’s increased success came to the attention of the mainstream public, Hefner was happy to portray himself as the charismatic icon and spokesperson for the sexual revolution of the ’60s.

This was also Playboy‘s golden age as ever-increasing circulation allowed Hefner to build a vast enterprise of “private key” clubs that, among other traits, were racially inclusive in a time where segregation was still legally enforced. (A documentary on Hefner that focused on his civil rights activism later received a NAACP Image Award nod.) Hostesses, known as Playboy Bunnies for their scanty outfits made up of rabbit ears and puffy tails, staffed these high-end establishments. The Bunnies often did quite well financially via tips and were directed to keep a certain professional distance from ordinary patrons. The women also had strict conditions placed on them in regards to appearance, including size.

Over the years, Hefner’s Playboy Enterprises also built hotel resorts, started modeling agencies and operated a number of media endeavors. Hefner hosted two short-run television series, Playboy’s Penthouse (1959–60), which featured the likes of Ella Fitzgerald, Nina Simone and Tony Bennett, and Playboy After Dark (1969–70), with guests like Milton Berle and James Brown. Both programs were weekly talk shows set in a bachelor pad full of Playboy Playmates, who chatted with Hefner and his special guests about various subjects.

The publication itself began to garner a reputation for serious journalism, as author Alex Haley launched the “Playboy Interview” in 1962 with jazz great Miles Davis. But Hefner’s success didn’t come without controversy. In 1963, he was arrested and stood trial for selling obscene literature after an issue of Playboy featured nude photos of Hollywood actress Jayne Mansfield. The jury couldn’t reach a verdict, and the charge was eventually dropped. The publicity didn’t affect the reputation of Hefner or Playboy Enterprises. In 1964, Hefner founded the Playboy Foundation to support endeavors related to fighting censorship and researching human sexuality.

Challenges and Downsizing

By 1971, Hefner had built Playboy Enterprises into a major corporation. The company went public, and the magazine’s circulation hit 7 million copies a month, earning a $12 million profit in 1972. Hefner also began dividing his time between two large mansions, one in Chicago and the other in the Holmby Hills area of Los Angeles. When he wasn’t home, he was globetrotting in the Big Bunny, a converted black DC-30 jet complete with a living room, a disco, movie and video equipment, a wet bar and sleeping quarters. The jet also featured a circular bed for Hefner himself.

In the mid-1970s, however, Playboy Enterprises fell on hard times. The United States hit a recession, and Playboy faced increasing competition from more explicit men’s magazines such as Penthouse, helmed by rival Bob Guccione. At first, Hefner responded by presenting more revealing photos of women in less wholesome poses and circumstances. Some advertisers rebelled, and circulation fell even further. From then on, Hefner concentrated the company’s operations on magazine publishing. Playboy Enterprises eventually divested itself from its unprofitable clubs and hotels and downsized its ancillary media endeavors. The magazine kept its new photography standards and began presenting features like “Girls of the Big Ten.”

Over the years a range of female celebrities have appeared in Playboy, including Madonna, Kate Moss, Jenny McCarthy, Naomi Campbell, Cindy Crawford, Drew Barrymore, Nancy Sinatra and, appearing on the most covers, Pamela Anderson. However, the magazine has also been targeted by critics who take issue with its objectification of women and barely veiled emphasis on commercialism. Feminist icon Gloria Steinem famously went undercover as a bunny waitress in 1963 to showcase what female workers endured for a two-part Show magazine article. (Steinem’s exposé was later made into a 1985 TV movie starring Kirstie Alley.)

In 1975, Hefner decided to make Los Angeles his permanent home so he could more closely supervise his interests in television and film production. He became involved in the restoration of the famed Hollywood sign and was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. And in 1978 he started the Playboy Jazz Festival, an annual event featuring some of the best jazz musicians in the world.

Transitions and Other Projects

In 1985, Hefner suffered a minor stroke, with the entrepreneur blaming it on stress from director Peter Bogdanovich’s book The Killing of the Unicorn: Dorothy Stratten 1960-1980, which profiled the life and murder of a former Playmate. The stroke served as a wake-up call for Hefner. He stopped smoking, began to work out and adopted a slower pace in his pleasurable pursuits. He married his longtime girlfriend, Kimberly Conrad, in 1989, and for a time, the Playboy Mansion reflected an atmosphere of family life. The marriage produced two sons, Marston and Cooper. The Hefners separated in 1998 and officially divorced in 2009. After the separation, Kimberly and the two boys lived on an estate next door to the Playboy Mansion.

In 1988, Hefner turned over control of Playboy Enterprises to his daughter Christie, naming her chair and chief executive officer. She played a key role in directing Playboy’s ventures in cable television, video production and online programming, with Hugh continuing to serve as the magazine’s editor-in-chief. Christie Hefner stepped down from her position in January 2009.

While the magazine saw more modest sales in a changing publishing landscape, the Playboy brand remained a formidable entity in terms of global licensing opportunities. The famed logo also made inroads into various avenues of pop culture, as seen with its display on a chain regularly worn by fashionista Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) in Sex and the City.

In his later years, Hugh Hefner devoted much of his time to philanthropy and civic projects. He directed his foundation in 1993 to launch the annual Freedom of Expression Award at the Sundance Film Festival. Hefner also gave the University of Southern California $100,000 for its “Censorship in the Cinema” course, and went on to donate $2 million to its film school in 2007. Additionally, he made major contributions to the restoration of classic films, one of his great passions.

‘The Girls Next Door’

Hefner received numerous awards for his contributions to society and the publishing industry. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame of the American Society of Magazine Editors in 1998, which, ironically, was the same year Steinem earned induction. In the new millennium, he received the Henry Johnson Fisher Award and became an honorary member of TheHarvard Lampoon.

2005 saw the premiere of The Girls Next Door, a reality series focusing on the lives of Hefner and his girlfriends at the Playboy Mansion, on the E! cable television network. The show’s earlier seasons featured Holly Madison, Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson, with later seasons featuring twins Kristina and Karissa Shannon and Crystal Harris, who would later become engaged to Hefner. True to form, the series served as a promotional vehicle for many of Hefner’s projects.

The 2009 season finale of Girls Next Door chronicled more changes in Hefner’s life, as Marquardt left the mansion and began her own TV series. Wilkinson left soon after, pursuing a relationship with NFL player Hank Baskett. Madison also vacated the mansion. She later penned the 2015 memoir Down the Rabbit Hole, detailing Hefner’s off-camera machinations and the severe unhappiness she experienced living at the mansion.

Third Marriage and Rebranding

Hefner reportedly was in discussions with Hollywood studio executives for many years to create a biopic about his life. Director Brett Ratner was linked to the film at one point, with several major stars named as prospects for the lead role, including Tom Cruise, Leonardo DiCaprio and Robert Downey Jr.

Hefner and Harris became engaged in December 2010. Not long after, in June 2011, the couple made headlines when Harris called off the engagement. Hefner and Harris were then back in the public eye in 2012, after announcing their re-engagement. The couple tied the knot at a Playboy Mansion ceremony on New Year’s Eve in 2012. After the ceremony, 86-year-old Hefner tweeted: “Happy New Year from Mr. and Mrs. Hugh Hefner,” with a photo of himself and his 26-year-old bride.

Meanwhile, Playboy was set to undergo a transformation: In October 2015, chief content officer Cory Jones revealed to the New York Times that he and Hefner had agreed to stop using photos of fully unclothed women. The change was part of a strategic decision to secure more advertisers and better placement on newsstands, as well as a response to the proliferation of internet pornography that had made the magazine’s spreads seem old-fashioned. The March 2016 issue featured bikini-clad model Sarah McDaniel on the cover, the first time Playboy presented itself as a non-nude magazine.

However, the change was short lived. Not long after Hefner’s son Cooper took over as chief creative officer in 2016, it was announced that Playboy would again feature unclothed models. “Nudity was never the problem because nudity isn’t a problem,” the creative chief tweeted in February 2017. “Today we’re taking our identity back and reclaiming who we are.”

Cooper Hefner had also voiced his displeasure with the Playboy Mansion going up for sale, though he was unable to have his way on that issue. In the summer of 2016, it was announced that the mansion had been sold for $100 million to a neighbor, under the agreement that Hefner and his wife would continue living there until his death.

Death

Hefner died on September 27, 2017, at his home, the Playboy Mansion, in Holmby Hills, California. He was 91. “Hugh M. Hefner, the American icon who in 1953 introduced the world to Playboy magazine and built the company into one of the most recognizable American global brands in history, peacefully passed away today from natural causes at his home, The Playboy Mansion, surrounded by loved ones,” Playboy Enterprises confirmed in a statement. “He was 91 years old.”

Hefner bought the mausoleum drawer next to Marilyn Monroe in Westwood Memorial Park in Los Angeles, where he will be buried.

 

The Day My Life Changed – The day I lost my sight

I get asked a lot about how I lost my sight and the group it has the most impact on are young school aged children. This is not a story to engender pity, but to educate, to drive home that tragedy/accidents can happen anywhere.

As a child we always think nothing bad can happen to us. We go through life thinking that anything bad will happen to everyone else and that there are no consequences to our actions.

I remember the age of when my life changed forever! I was 12 years old when my world was turned upside down. A teenage boy was dared by another teenager to push me off the top of a slide. One of the very tall twisty ones. During this time slides were on concrete and not soft sand. There was no where for me to go. I heard the dare, flying through the air and then waking up in the hospital.

I woke up strapped down in a hospital bed and everything was black. I panicked! I called out and no one answered for at least 5 minutes. When they finally did I was told what happened, that I had patches on my eyes and was strapped down so that I wouldn’t try and take the patches off. Of course this just made me more upset and I panicked even harder.

For a long time after that event I was severely depressed. I had no idea how I would cope. For me my life was over! Thanks to 2 very good friends of mine I was made to see that I could still do all the things I loved. I just had to find another way of doing them!

As you can see my story was not an accident, but done on purpose. Maybe that boy didn’t know how bad things would turn out, but he had to know what he was doing was wrong somewhere. All the times adults say “don’t rough house in the playground” is for a good reason.

Tragedy/accidents can happen anywhere!

 

May

50 shades of real BDSM

Im 28 years old,still pretty young but not too young to have not experinced some fun regarding sexual acts and play. I am miss reeves and i will be here to discuss many topics from erotic to how to cook a perfect sunday lunch, we shall make friends you and I, your opinion will be very important to me to make the blogs more fun and fab.

Dominant sex/BDSM

The real 50 shades of grey, what do men really think???

How do you please your dominant? What is a submissive and dominant relationship about? I will discuss and research many topics for you including best sex and how to improve quality of sex with a partner, but to start off this blog lets find out about the above questions. Good questions……..to start with I will introduce you to what the sub/dom relationship is about.

To be a submissive you have to get off on being empowered, excersised and expolited. Anything you do is for your master/mistress even if pain is the force being enflicted upon you, your pain is the doms pleasure, and the dom has to gain all pleasure before the sub can receive theirs. So if the sub is a good little slave, they can orgasm eventually.Being submissive can be like being a human doormat and like your a little puppet on a sexy string. Dominants always come first. Its a true case of having something happen to you what you may not really enjoy or like but you do it knowing that something better will happen if you play along. Naughty for your nice!!! I liked to be called domina, it sounds hot and is off the tv show spartacus ha! Domina meaning incharge.

Id say being a submisive is a great responsiblity because its really up to that person whats going to happen, if they cant do as ordered and told then they simply may be denied any sex, so its easier to just obey your mistress……like a good boy!!! (or girl lets be real here any sex can be the dominant) Have you ever been denied a orgasm, its horrible, your body is crying out for a massive realise and then the dominant walks away and leaves you tied up so you cant even finish the job yourself. Trust me its easier to be spanked and whipped, which in turn is awesome fun. Many people will have opinions about this type of sex,s&m and bondage its not every readers cup of tea. It may appear silly or scary,but let me tell you guys if you find a partner who is not going to run away kicking and screaming, you will have some real bedroom fun. There are many online shops which offer so many toys and clothing to aid all this kind of sex. Gimp masks for example,odd or not??? Have you any opinions? Personally a mask to me is sexy, its freaky and strange but makes me want to try. Some people obviously would run a mile, what would you do?

Now bondage has hit the shelves big time after the book release of fifty shades, i think a bondage kit for begginers is a great idea before diving into the scary stuff like cages and chains. Ive enjoyed many a times being strung up and absolutley whipped to the point my bare naked body is red raw!!!!! why did i let some man laugh at me and grab my hair, because I knew if this 10 mins of torture made him happy, soon I woud come. I would be called a good sub and awarded praise in the style of sexual favors. And sometimes the whip of the leather or the feel of a gag being forced into your mouth is enough to make you excited in your pants anyway, by the end of it your begging him for the whip because you know what happens after the whip. I have been tied up in a japense style rope situation and restricted where i cant move, hands tied behind back, legs restrained, rope around my breasts and then gagged and blindfolded. Trust me, I was soooo nervous. I couldnt see where he was, he was silent, the anticipation was killing me. I didnt know what was going to happen or when. Name calling is a massive turn on during these kind of games, suddenly i felt his penis pushing into my back and he started choking me and whispered in my ears,

“im going to fuck your pussy from behind, dont squeal dont fucking squirm, infact just shut the fuck up little girl and then youll be set free. Ruin it and see that dildo over there…..” he lifted up the blindfold briefly. Basically if i ruined his time with my vulnerable little pussy he would stick that either down my throat and choke me to the point i wanted to vomit, or stick it into my bottom and watch me cry out with pain before pleasure.

I looked over and saw a very large big dildo, the size of it was worringly massive.

“I SAID CAN YOU FUCKING SEE IT?”

“Hmmmm yes.” I kinda grunted

“yes what?”

“yes master.”

Ive done the dominant role and have several stories, maybe we can discuss what I got upto but It all depends on what the readers want to insist upon, i have light simple antics and extreme naughty fetish style antics which would make you blush. But a good easy way of maybe showing authority is to use a strap on dildo and face sitting is also a good one. Tie the sub up is also a simple form of torture and tell them they cant come until you say so. Then you can literally tease them to the brink of orgasm and watch as they struggle to not come everywhere, the feeling that your doing that to a person, creating that intense feeling makes you a good domina. A personal favourite is to sit on a face and hold their nose but they have to still perform oral and gasp for breath, like a fish out of water, gasping because your whole groin and butt is suffocating their face.

Has any of you lovely readers ever done CBT??? (Cock and ball torture) id be so interested to hear about the tales or should I say tails…….hmmmm. Please dont be shy now…..you only live once right.

When in a fearful situation do you become a leader or a follower?? This could answer whether youd be a good sub or dom. If you get a thrill out of taking action and control, maybe being a dom is for you. If your heart tells you to listen to the the others and follow along maybe your a good submissive. Both roles are equally as satisfying and if in a relationship perhaps you could alternate these roles.

So what do we think our boyfriends who have never experienced s&m may think about our new domina fantasy.Well some couples will have been doing it for years and he will be used to the behaviour, but to a begginer its quite overwhelming and scary, I can talk you through whats happening with me. A new partner and me have just stared the s&m game, hes never done it before, so I in this case am the dom and hes the sub, until or if he wants to swap. Men LOVE the idea of being bossed about its like a woman who knows whats she is doing is a massive turn on, I dont think people want to admit they like to be vulnerable in the bedroom, but trust me, men seem to love it. Unless the male is the dom, i like to call the male dom ‘daddy’ its just hot and sexy, there is something great and pleasing about being daddys little girl who has pigtails and and gets her hair pulled in the act of oral sex…….can daddys girl swallow????

Does he want to be dominated? Chances are he does but wont speak up about feelings, its important to communicate about whats funand new in the bedroom, dont let your sex life mush awayto nothing from fear, fear of what might blow your mind from vanilla sex. Men are so used to be alpha males in all situations, its normal, so to have this seduction occur by a sexy strong powerful female changes dynamics. Dont be shy to express fantasy,this has to be somebody you love or are comfortable with,somebody who you knowwants the same style love making. Although done into extreme sexual content i wouldnt call it love making at all, its rude and horny fuck fest of fun.

Sex doesnt have to be scary even if your new to the bondage world, take it slow, dont rush, find a perfect match who wants to try it too, get a starter kit, you may of heard of a safeword, choose one. Always use it if your body cannot take anymore, but please dont be too rough if this is all new. I will discuss with you soon different interesting things to do in sex, watersports maybe or getting frisky outdoors.

We will talk about sex and in turn go have sex with our partners and I will promise you by the end of all our discussions we shall all have learnt a little if not alot. Ladies , i promise you to initiate sex and remember there is a physical factor and a mental factor to being a dominant.You need to assert yourself and learnwhere your inner confidience comes from, once you do it once you wont feel so doubtful, so put that red lipstick on and impress your partner to the brink of orgasm, then maybe deny him or her of course, and have them beg,beg you to let them come. You have to sound a bit mean a bit aggresive but you dont have to do anything you arent relaxed with. Get your verbal tongue working and watch what it does to the submissive it will drive them wild, anting to please you. Mentally be aware ofw hat your doing and saying,maybe choose some good commands and know what you want to happen that occasion.

Some tips before I go

  1. Dress sexy, it doesnt have to be leather but dress so you feel awesome.Its like supermans cape you will automatically just feel powerful.

  2. Text the submissive throughout the day to start the game off even if they are working. Say you cant wait for them to come and kiss you or nibble you, send eroitc images.

  3. Get into boss mode, have ideas of verbal commands. Think before the sex occurs.

  4. He has to worship every inch of you

  5. Start with tying him/her up and make that person frustrated. Teasing each other is the best foreplay.

  6. NO MASTURBATION it enhances this occasion making both orgasms better

  7. Its only fun if your both happy

Questions welcomed …………………………………………………………

Miss Reeves

Surgical Menopause – getting into your Menopause too early

 

Four months ago I had my ovaries removed. It was a shock. One minute I was fine, the next I was doubled up in pain, certain that my appendix was rupturing. A quick trip to hospital and an ultrasound showed a large tumour on my ovary. I asked if it was cancerous. The Emergency Department Consultant could not tell me. The only specialist who was not on holiday could not see me for 10 days. Why do all specialists go on holiday at the same time? It was the same when my sons needed grommets. They were all away. Shouldn’t doctors have to stagger their holidays like any other professional?

My initial meeting with the specialist was not positive and I thought about seeing someone else, but I was not keen on a 3 month wait. I was frightened that I had cancer, so I went with the first person available.

The appointment started badly when she asked why I was there. I told her that I have a tumour on my ovary and was promptly told that “we don’t call it a “tumour”, it is a “mass””. I knew at that point that it was going to be a rough road. Every other doctor from the ED Consultant through to my GP called it a tumour. There was even an arrow pointing to it on the ultrasound scan which is marked “tumour”. However, I was told firmly that I was not to call it that. I don’t know if this was supposed to make me feel better, or happier or reassured. Either way it achieved nothing and I spent the following week looking up ovarian cancer websites and trying to prepare myself for the worst. The specialist said she could operate a week later so I filled in all the admission paperwork and then hit the chocolate. It did nothing for my waistline but it made me feel brighter. Where there is chocolate there is hope.

I arrived at hospital the following week, petrified and with a bag full of chocolate to get me through the recovery in hospital. Green and Blacks I love you. I will buy shares. It was only your milk chocolate that got me through the following weeks. If you noticed a profits spike in April and May, that was down to me.

After waiting in reception for 2 hours I was taken to a ward full of people waiting to have gynaecological surgery. I was apparently third on the list. Why I had to be there at 6.30am when they did not intend to operate before 11am, beats me.

Once I was in a gown and tucked up in bed, the nurse looking after us all decided we all needed to have an enema. I think she was bored. I was expecting a tube up my bottom so was quite relieved when it just turned out to be a tablet. A modern enema involves a tablet being stuck up your bottom and being told to hold it as long as you can before you race to the toilet. There were 8 of us waiting for surgery. The nurse gave us all an enema within minutes of each other. There was one toilet on the ward. The outcome was predictable to everyone except the nurse administering the tablet. I learned a lot of new yoga positions as I was standing in queue outside the one toilet, trying desperately to hold on. There was no commode available. As I was wheeled off for surgery, I hoped the nurse with the smart idea was the one to have to clean up.

I woke up in my own room after the surgery. I was hungry but the nurse told me that I had to be on clear fluids until my bowel had moved. That proved to be a long time. Why did they give me an enema in the first place? Chicken consommé does not help you have a movement. If it goes in liquid, it comes out liquid. I decided that they were just malicious. Three days of chicken consommé and lime jelly later, I was ready to strangle someone, so I lied. I told the doctor I had been to the toilet. The food ban was lifted. I ate chocolate. It was good, really good. In fact it tasted like manna from heaven. My 6 year old saw it on offer at the local supermarket. My husband and son emptied the shelves. My cupboard overflowed…There is no painkiller as effective as a large bar of Green and Blacks Organic Milk Chocolate. Just liquefy it and hook me up to a drip!

I knew that having my ovaries removed would send me into surgical menopause. What I did not know was how quickly it would happen. The various websites were quite vague about it. I knew that I would need to go on to HRT until the age that I would naturally go into the menopause (generally assumed to be around the age of 51) to replace the oestrogen that was no longer being provided.

I thought that I would be given HRT immediately. Apparently not. The specialist decided it would be good for me to experience what menopause was like before allowing me to have the oestrogen patches. The hot flushes kicked in 2 days post-surgery. I endured 5 days of hot flushes and night sweats before discharging myself against doctor’s orders. Only then did she agree to give me the patches. She told me that women should be able to deal with menopause when it happens, whether or not that is down to surgery. I beg to differ.

I did wonder why I, as her patient, had to suffer because of her beliefs about HRT. It made me wonder how much else of her advice was her opinion, versus official recommendations. I went to see my GP five days later and she was brilliant. When I told her I was still suffering hot flushes and night sweats, she upped my dosage of HRT, saying that nobody needed to suffer unnecessarily. The hot flushes and night sweats stopped within 24 hours. My doctor is the best!

It was a long five weeks until I found out I did not have Ovarian Cancer. The specialist forgot to email my GP with the results, so she found out from me that I was in the clear.

The HRT patches work well. I have had to put an alarm in my phone to remind me to change them twice a week, but apart from that it is all fine. My tummy is squidgier than it was and it was a few weeks before my sons were able to bounce on my lap again. However, I have recovered well and am now back to exercising and back on motherly duties again. All credit to my in-laws who moved in and looked after the children for me while I recovered. All credit to my eldest son who reminded my husband to keep resupplying the chocolate.

While this has been a long story I think the main points I wanted to make are that if you are told that there is something wrong that may be very serious, read around. Don’t just read around the subject, read online reviews of the hospital and the specialist you are seeing. I wish that I had, as the same comments I have made above, had previously been made by others having similar surgery at the same hospital, with the same consultant.

Be willing to look further afield for a consultant and a hospital to have the surgery done at, if this is an option where you live. I looked within a 10 mile radius of my home, at 3 possible hospitals and I based my choice purely on opening hours, not on online reviews. If I had gone as far as 30 miles, I may have had a different experience. Finally, read up on the after effects of the surgery, any follow up medication you may need and the pros and cons of it. Use reputable websites, such as those of national or international charities specialising in your condition. Go into your doctor armed to the teeth with information, don’t just take the specialist’s word for it. Knowledge is power and power is confidence. If you are confident of your information when you face your specialist, you may have a lot better experience than if you accept without question, the information that specialist gives you. Finally, take to the hospital whatever it is that will make you feel good afterwards, as a quick boost every now and again, can only be a good thing for your recovery.