I’m not skinny, but I used to be very skinny. When I quit smoking I gained about fifty pounds. At first, I was pretty horrified about it. My boyfriend at the time told me he preferred it when I was skinny, but after the relationship ended and I learned to love my smokeless, overweight body, I had a few different ideas about it.

The thing that changed my mind about missing the skinny me was all the men that were hitting on me. I was getting flirted with left and right! It was nice. I was a little shocked about it, but I finally got a man to fess up and tell me why he liked my curves. Why do men like curvy women you ask? Here’s what I’ve learnt.

1. Bigger boobs

There are many men who are “boob” men and curvy women have bigger boobs. It’s that simple. They don’t mind the few extra inches around the middle as long as they get to play with the goods. Make note here, ladies, use those boobs to your advantage!

2. More booty

In the history of rock and roll, there has never been a song about a flat butt. Ever. My butt was pretty cute when I was thin, but it really grew and rounded out when I put on a few pounds. I thought for sure it was going to make men move along to the next girl, but I was wrong. In fact, I got more compliments on my bigger butt than I did on my tiny perky butt. Although I miss my perky little rear, I do like the compliments.

3. They’re softer

Curvy women are softer and men like to be the strong, hard ones in a relationship. It’s more satisfying for a guy to curl up and snuggle someone soft and round, than it is to snuggle up to bones and sharp elbows, so I’ve been told.

4. No bruised thighs

I prefer men with weight for one main reason: I hate having bruised thighs after sleeping with a man. A skinny guy leaves my sensitive body bruised and sore, but a softer body isn’t as hard on my thighs. I’ve been told that sentiment works both ways.

5. They eat

Men do not want to be the only ones eating when they go out, it’s weird for them. If you’re sitting there nibbling a salad and you finish an hour before he’s done with his steak and potatoes, he gets pretty nervous about it. Men like curvy women because they eat with them and it’s always more comfortable to eat with someone than to have someone sit and watch you eat.

6. They look younger

Men also like curvy women because, generally, they look younger. It’s true, that extra fat smooth’s out those wrinkles, ladies! I got told the other day I looked twenty five. I’m thirty seven. My round cheeks play a big role in looking younger.

7. It’s a sign of fertility

Another one of the main reasons men like curvy women is actually biological and subconscious. Men associate wide hips and large breasts with fertility, they always have. A woman with curves was said to be good for child bearing and men associate curves with that notion. Even if they aren’t ready to have children, the fact that you look fertile makes them want to mate with you.

8. They’re not afraid to get a little rough

I had a guy tell me once that he was afraid of hurting me. He would rather put me on a shelf like a little china doll and not touch me. That was when I was skinny. I’ve never had that problem with my curves, in fact, most of my boyfriends haven’t been afraid to ask for something a little harder or kinkier in the bedroom. I guess they think a curvy girl can handle it.

9. It’s classic beauty

All of the old, classic statues and paintings had women with curves. From ancient Greece to the Renaissance, women who had large, cellulite thighs and chubby arms were considered beautiful. There are a few reasons for this. Aside from the “fertility” idea (which we’ve already discussed), women who are curvy are known to be well fed.

Food is a sign of health. Food is also a sign of wealth (being able to buy food and all). It has been proven that during times of economic depression or repression more men preferred curvy women, because in their mind, they associate it with health and wealth.

10. It’s less “boyish” and less “child-like”

I have known men to be genuinely turned off by skinny women because it is a sign of immaturity to them. Many men associate curves with the “mother” figure and a more mature woman, so dating a skinny woman doesn’t appeal to them. Also, some guys feel like dating a skinny woman is too much like dating another guy, they don’t like the way it feels.

While there are some men who do prefer thin women (I’ve been turned down by a few, believe me), there are still many men who prefer women with curves and extra weight. Italian men and Greek men are excellent examples of guys who like they’re women a little on the rounder side. I’ve met guys who like their women a LOT on the rounder side!

The point is, no matter what your weight is, there is always someone out there who finds it attractive. Honestly.

So, instead of worrying about needing to lose weight (or worrying about needing to gain weight), appreciate your body as it is.

If you’re a woman with a few extra pounds, don’t hide your figure, go out and flaunt it! Don’t you want to show off those curves?

Valentine’s Day has only just gone. The one day of the year when schmaltzy dedications of love are not only not frowned upon but actively encouraged. Not everyone is lucky in love though and, in the eternal quest to find Mr or Miss Right hides a sinister online world where the vulnerable and lovelorn can get very easily burned.

There was a time, long in the past, where the local singletons would go down to the disco or local dance in order to find that special someone; those days are definitely gone. The most popular way these days to find love is online, which has seen a surge with applications such as Tinder and Plenty of Fish, now offering instant, on-the-move match-making. Online provides a way for those unable to cultivate a social life, for work or personal reasons, to find instant gratification, although it does have its pitfalls.

The main problem with online is simple; you just never know to whom you’re talking. Of course, the picture may say that you’re talking to a Kelly Brook lookalike or someone who makes Jamie Dornan look like a minger, but if you’ve not actually seen the person in the flesh it’s difficult to tell. Here’s a quick guide on the how dating scammers work and how to stay safe.

1. Dating scammers are devious. Their usual modus operandi starts off with the profile. The pictures are more often than not plucked off some website which features the most beautiful people. Sometimes they’ll even take pictures of actual celebrities and pass it off as themselves, relying on their intended target to not be media savvy and recognise their picture as a complete fake (this might sound stupid but there are people out there just that naïve unfortunately). A great site is tineye.com where, if you save the persons picture, you can them upload it to see if it’s anywhere else online.

2. They’ll tailor their ‘interests’ to suit the target. These people know that they want to target the bored, lonely and easily fooled who may not get out much, so they’ll use interests which could be considered the type of things that lonely single people may do i.e. watch TV, read. In other words, interests for one.

3. They’ll start showering you with charming words and compliments, sometimes within days of their first message, using ‘baby’ and ‘darling’ and wanting to stray away from the dating site and talk in a more ‘personal’ setting i.e. Whatsapp or giving you a phone number to call, and even laughing at your jokes (when in fact they’re really laughing at you). A simple trick is finding out early if you’re being conned is, if they claim to be from an English-speaking country yet use strangely-broken English in their typed conversations, then it’s safe to assume you’re being had. If you suspect this, ask for a voicemail and if they refuse – delete their profile and number.

4. After a while of talking, it’s time for them to drop the boom. You’ll get frantic email/text/call claiming that your beloved is in financial trouble, getting hassled by an ex or family member, or is having a legal issue and needs money to help them out. They may even ask for you to give your bank details. Needless to say, get rid of the rose-tinted glasses and get rid of the number. They may became more insistent should you initially refuse, using phrases like ‘I thought you loved me’ or ‘I thought we were friends’ to elicit a guilt. Don’t give into it!

It goes without saying that some online romances are actually genuine, I know of one couple who met online and are happily married these past five years, but being aware of the pitfalls never does any harm because not everyone is just that nice. so, if you’re a sexy singleton this Valentine’s Day don’t be put off going out; put down the tub of Haagen –Dazs, turn off Bridget Jones’ Diary or the football. Get on the glad-rags to find the love of your life – preferably

There’s no use worrying about a low-maintenance woman; she can handle things by herself. You don’t need to drive her around or buy her things that she likes. She can do all that without your help. Independence is her second name, and while she appreciates that she can rely on you, she treats you as her equal. Respect her enough to treat her the same. She was strong on her own before she ever met you, and she still is now.

A low-maintenance woman does not ask for a lot. It’s easy to purchase gifts, but she knows the weight of love and loyalty, which is why she values them more than those that are tangible. A low-maintenance woman is, after all, still a woman with high standards, and she will never allow herself to be treated less than what she knows to be her true value.

As much as you enjoy the lightness of her company, remember that she is her own person: She may fall in a dark place if ever you make the silly and illogical decision to leave her, but she won’t stay there for long. She’ll rise above and beyond you without bitterness and complication, because that’s the way she is.

So do yourself a favor and stay a while. She may teach you a thing or two about living and loving. Dating a low-maintenance woman is more than just being with someone who enjoys cheap thrills; it’s about being with someone who finds beauty in simplicity.

A woman with high standards is a woman who knows what she wants. When she sets the bar for who she chooses to be with, it doesn’t mean that she’s immediately a red-heeled tigress who eats men’s souls for lunch. Standards are relative, and this woman, in her confident smile and intriguing sensibilities, simply knows exactly what she’s looking for.

She is any lady who knows how and when to compromise, but doesn’t take less than what she knows she deserves. She’s honest, open, and admittedly at times, too-wide eyed: There will be always a point when she hopes to marry into real-life royalty, but at the end of the day she just wants a prince who’ll help with the dishes in a cozy home.

She isn’t afraid to venture out, but won’t think twice about staying within her familiar haunts when she feels like it. She can either actively look for love or simply choose to sit in a coffee shop without even trying. However she does it, the point is that she won’t just date anyone (unlike before), because now, she knows better. Yes, she may have been hurt before, and she has also made mistakes, but haven’t we all?

A woman with standards knows that the person who’s worth her time will understand her worth, and treat her right. She is someone who has confidence and ambition, and while at times she may question her own abilities, she never fails to go beyond her insecurities when it truly counts. She doesn’t stand at the sidelines watching life pass her by; she jumps right in the flow and expects whomever she chooses to be with to do the same. She understands that a partner isn’t the person to fix her, but someone who can help her smoothen out her edges while celebrating her identity, and vice versa.

In the same vein, a woman with high standards for her future partner sets even higher ones for herself.

She knows that she has to bring something to the table. She isn’t looking for someone too handsome, or too rich, or too smart. She’s looking for one who can match her in every possible way. That’s where her standards for both herself and her man are coming from; the definite desire to find that one soul excited about the same worthwhile life she has dreamed of. At the end of the day, it’s not really about high standards, just values.

So yes, date a woman with standards. Date a woman who knows her worth, because finding someone who can stand on her own means being with someone who can stand with you.

There are few sentences that doom a relationship as much as “let’s take a break.” It’s almost like saying, “We’re on the way out, but neither of us wants to let go, so let’s just do this painfully and slowly.” It’s like clinging to flotsam after a shipwreck in the middle of the ocean, knowing you’ll likely drown but being unable to give up. Except, in the case of the relationship, instead of sinking slowly into a watery grave, you just get sad for a while and then date someone else.

So people know that, even if the idea of the “break” has the best intentions, the odds that it won’t just turn into a full-on break up are certainly stacked against you. Here are the reasons he’s probably asking for one, in order of likelihood:

1. This is his way of breaking up without being too harsh.

This is almost always why a “break” is proposed. He’s probably a good guy, but he’s also too cowardly to tell you he doesn’t want to see you anymore. Typically, the relationship was amazing at one point, and you were deeply in love, maybe even unhealthily codependent. He wants to get out but feels awful being the one to end things, even if it’s the right thing to do in the long-term. If you suspect that’s what’s going on, ask him to be real with you. It’ll be way less awful than dragging through months of long talks and confusion when he’s already made up his mind.

2. He wants to have sex with someone else.

If you’re on a break, and he has sex with someone else, he technically didn’t cheat and then you can still get back together. This is a pretty garbage reason to ask for a break. Granted, this is 2016 and some people can successfully navigate an open relationship, and if you want to bang other people too, then maybe you’ll be down for this. “I have so many people I wanted to bang,” you’ll say. “Look at this bang list. I need to get started.” And then the two of you high-five and everything works out, and I guess you’re both soul mates because you both have a “bang list” apparently and aren’t deterred by your partner possessing a similar bang list.

But, if open relationships aren’t your thing, then this is his way of sneaking in a free pass. If there’s some woman he’s been hanging out with and he suddenly asks for a break out of the blue, you can tell him, “The only break you’re getting is a break up. With me. I’m breaking up with you.” Maybe don’t say that, but just break up with him.

3. He really actually needs to reevaluate your relationship. 

It’s not necessarily a great sign, but he might really want to take a constructive look at your relationship and take some distance for a few weeks. The relationship might’ve once been great but now feels stagnant. He might feel like he’s at a crossroads where he needs to figure out if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you or not. His intentions are good, but if he has to do this in the first place (or more specifically, if he feels he has to do this), then it’s time for you both to really look at your relationship and at what needs changing. Are those things worth changing, or things worth breaking up over? Can you come back from a “break?” Sure. But you both have to really want to work at it if you don’t want it to be your death sentence. It’s way too easy to think, Single life isn’t so bad and I’m comfortable here, now.

4. He needs a few weeks of peace and quiet.

Maybe he’s not the best with words and “break” isn’t the most accurate term. He could have some major finals or a huge crunch at work, and doesn’t want any distractions. He could really just be looking for some space. If he’s stressed and he’s the kind of person that needs to focus on one thing at a time, you’ll both feel better in the long run if you give him that space. He probably knows he’s going to snap at you for little things, or act distant, and he doesn’t want to feel guilted into spending time with you when he knows he should be devoting it somewhere else. In all fairness, he probably should have said “me time” instead, but hey, this isn’t the worst possible outcome on this list.

 5. This is some kind of “relationship test.” 

He wants to see if you’ll say yes to the break because that would somehow mean you’re not committed to the relationship. Some people are just so insecure that they feel compelled to play mind games. Maybe he’s afraid of losing you. Maybe he thinks, She’s going to break up with me, so I should break up with her first. Maybe he’s a sociopath. Maybe he read it on some website on the internet (who would do that?). I don’t know, some people are crazy and play weird mind games. Don’t bother with anyone who does this.