Sweet Dreams – why do we dream of people who have passed away?

 

Hi everyone, I have received many messages from people who have been experiencing dreams about loved ones who have passed away.
Many tell me that their loved ones are children again, or much younger and happier than they were when they passed.
Others say they dream of a parent sitting or standing beside them.
Pets can also vividly appear in our dreams.

To dream of a loved one who has passed away is a blessing.
There is so much about the universe and beyond that we are yet to discover. The afterlife remains our biggest mystery, and not until our own final moment on Earth will we ever know what happens next.
Yet despite this mystery, our subconscious is able to keep precious memories alive through our dreams. We are so lucky to receive vivid reminders of those we have loved and lost as we sleep.
After death are we younger, happier, more free in spirit?
Parents standing or sitting by our side….are they still watching over us, supporting us through their dream presence as we sleep?

It is a comfort to know that despite our loss of a loved one, we can at times, as we sleep, feel their presence and know that somehow their memory and spirit lives on within us. Somehow they are still with us, and for just a moment, the physical connection is brought back to life.
Is this a sign that love is eternal?
Life goes on, and we cry many tears for those we lose.
Feel blessed when you dream of a loved one who has passed away. It could truly be the most beautiful miracle of all.

Sweet Dreams x     https://www.facebook.com/dreamsanalysis/




What’s the difference between depression and burnout?

 

 

The difference between depression and burnout is not always easy to see. There are even certain diagnosis tools which do not differentiate between them and therefore not see burnout as a separate disorder. If we were to compare burnout to other mental disorders, it is most similar to depression. Therefore, the difference between depression and burnout is not always evident.

What do the psychiatrists say?

Even though diagnosis tools do not consider burnout to be a separate disease, psychiatrists do state that burnout is a separate disease. Burnout is generally defined as an extreme exhaustion after the body and mind have been exhausted and pushed too far, according to them.

Is it therefore easy to differentiate between depression and burnout? Definitely not. Depression and burnout namely are very similar to each other and are often seen together, too.

Difference between depression and burnout: the symptoms

Depression and burnout are very similar to each other. Here, there are symptoms which match the both of them. The following examples are among them:

  • Concentration issues
  • Memory issues
  • Sleeping issues
  • Exhausted feeling

The symptoms above apply to both depression and burnout. If psychiatrists then want to set a diagnosis, they will often notice that the same tests can be used for both the diagnosis. The results, which are then found in the tests, can thus point at both depression and burnout.

So you see that it is really difficult to define the difference between depression and burnout. In the following paragraph we will give clear differences, so that you get a clearer picture of the symptoms.

The clear difference between depression and burnout

The first difference between depression and burnout is that depression is more general. Depression will namely affect several parts in life and can also develop from different parts in life, such as:

  • Your family
  • Your friends
  • Your hobbies

Burnout is generally work related. Of course the stress which you experience at work can affect your relationship, but in depression this is often more clearly seen. Furthermore, a burnout tends to develop from a work situation, while depression can develop in a more general way. A burnout can eventually also influence other parts of life, like a depression, but this is more likely to occur in a later stage. (Iacovides, Fountoulakis, Kaprinis & Kaprinis, 2003). Depression on the other hand, can have a quick and large influence on several parts of life, while burnout will limit itself to work for a longer period of time.

Difference between depression and burnout: occurring together?

Depression and burnout can also occur together. It is not unlikely that a severe burnout can also cause depression symptoms.




Slyther-in to something more comfortable!

Female Harry Potter fans, have you ever wanted to cast a spell over your other half in the bedroom? Whether it’s for the bedroom or just for fun, becoming the sexiest member of house Gryffindor is now a reality thanks to the latest in new range of underwear that’s fun to wear. Who needs Hermione Grainger and Ginny Weasley when you can make your own magic thanks to this raunchy bedroom costume?

Launched by Yandy.com, the Harry Potter ‘Magic Student Fantasy Lingerie Set’ looks set to be a hit among fans of the franchise. The set compromises of a sheer grey lace crop top with a white collar, a sheer, burgundy high-waisted panty with a grey lace trim, a cheeky cut back, removable burgundy and gold suspenders, and a matching striped tie (glasses not included). As of now, the set is only available in the Gryffindor colours of Harry’s house and there are no plans as yet to include Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff or Slytherin, indicating that romance between houses is prohibited. However, if you’re a fan of wholesome Cho Chang or Bellatrix Lestrange, we won’t tell.

The Potter set is part of a fantasy section in the classy lingerie site which includes sexy superheroes and red hot princesses and is available for pre-order now. Fittingly the set was launched on July 31st, Harry’s birthday.

The set is hoping to prove hugely popular with fans and non-fans of the franchise, flying out the door faster than the speediest of Quidditch players. It is advised to get your order in quick so you can say ‘Expelliarmus’ to your lover’s clothes and ensure the night ends with ‘Mischief Managed!’

 




Reasons to Date a Low-Maintenance Woman

It’s easy to make a low-maintenance woman happy. That’s because she enjoys the simple things in life—an afternoon by a fish ball cart can pass for the best date she’s ever had, as long as you’ve shown her a great time. She doesn’t expect you to always have your best foot forward. She’d rather have you honest and relaxed because that just means you’re comfortable around each other.

On a regular day, you’ll see her in a classic shirt-and-pants ensemble, which she accents with a tailored coat or a casual jacket, depending on the occasion. She prefers flats and sneakers over heels because she doesn’t like being restricted by what she wears when she’s off on one of her many adventures. She’s straightforward, practical, but somehow still remains to be the classiest woman you’ve seen, and that’s probably because she’s content with who she is.

There’s no use worrying about a low-maintenance woman; she can handle things by herself. You don’t need to drive her around or buy her things that she likes. She can do all that without your help. Independence is her second name, and while she appreciates that she can rely on you, she treats you as her equal. Respect her enough to treat her the same. She was strong on her own before she ever met you, and she still is now.

A low-maintenance woman does not ask for a lot. It’s easy to purchase gifts, but she knows the weight of love and loyalty, which is why she values them more than those that are tangible. A low-maintenance woman is, after all, still a woman with high standards, and she will never allow herself to be treated less than what she knows to be her true value.

As much as you enjoy the lightness of her company, remember that she is her own person: She may fall in a dark place if ever you make the silly and illogical decision to leave her, but she won’t stay there for long. She’ll rise above and beyond you without bitterness and complication, because that’s the way she is.

So do yourself a favor and stay a while. She may teach you a thing or two about living and loving. Dating a low-maintenance woman is more than just being with someone who enjoys cheap thrills; it’s about being with someone who finds beauty in simplicity.




Reasons to Date a Woman with High Standards

 

A woman with high standards is a woman who knows what she wants. When she sets the bar for who she chooses to be with, it doesn’t mean that she’s immediately a red-heeled tigress who eats men’s souls for lunch. Standards are relative, and this woman, in her confident smile and intriguing sensibilities, simply knows exactly what she’s looking for.

She is any lady who knows how and when to compromise, but doesn’t take less than what she knows she deserves. She’s honest, open, and admittedly at times, too-wide eyed: There will be always a point when she hopes to marry into real-life royalty, but at the end of the day she just wants a prince who’ll help with the dishes in a cozy home.

She isn’t afraid to venture out, but won’t think twice about staying within her familiar haunts when she feels like it. She can either actively look for love or simply choose to sit in a coffee shop without even trying. However she does it, the point is that she won’t just date anyone (unlike before), because now, she knows better. Yes, she may have been hurt before, and she has also made mistakes, but haven’t we all?

A woman with standards knows that the person who’s worth her time will understand her worth, and treat her right. She is someone who has confidence and ambition, and while at times she may question her own abilities, she never fails to go beyond her insecurities when it truly counts. She doesn’t stand at the sidelines watching life pass her by; she jumps right in the flow and expects whomever she chooses to be with to do the same. She understands that a partner isn’t the person to fix her, but someone who can help her smoothen out her edges while celebrating her identity, and vice versa.

In the same vein, a woman with high standards for her future partner sets even higher ones for herself.

She knows that she has to bring something to the table. She isn’t looking for someone too handsome, or too rich, or too smart. She’s looking for one who can match her in every possible way. That’s where her standards for both herself and her man are coming from; the definite desire to find that one soul excited about the same worthwhile life she has dreamed of. At the end of the day, it’s not really about high standards, just values.

So yes, date a woman with standards. Date a woman who knows her worth, because finding someone who can stand on her own means being with someone who can stand with you.




How to let go?

Still thinking about that ex after six months?;
Or about that guy you had a ‘crush on’ but waited too long, ‘I should of said something!’;
Or how can I trust again after my last bad relationship/s?

How do we deal with the memories that haunt us, taunt us and make us question ourselves; what is wrong with me? Humans have, and always will be, emotional beings. Everything we do in life is defined by how we feel about ourselves and the outside world. Sometimes that’s a positive, sometimes a negative. We can laugh at jokes told hours before, smile about the things we love when they aren’t around OR even hold onto grudges for a lifetime over one poorly chosen and ill-willed sentence.

The why is simple; we have evolved to learn from our experiences by attaching emotional connections to reinforce the ‘desired’ lesson. Just as every day you spend with a lover increases your connection; so too can time apart strengthen a negative attachment. In simplest terms when spoken to our children, ‘Do not touch the stove or you will get burned.’ Yet for all our good intentions; we all know that curiosity and the inevitable painful consequences will be learned. In this case, after many scream filled tears, the lesson that you should never touch a stove will last that child’s lifetime.

So Tim, How do we move on? Well… My first answer is always the question, ‘why do you want to move on?’

Every time you reflect on an old flame, memory or experience; that is your brain reminding you of potential consequences of lessons learned, positive and negative. It’s that simple. Remember, our brains, or more so, our subconscious is not the enemy. It isn’t trying to confuse, trick or manipulate us just for the sake of it. It is simply answering the question based on the information you have given it. This is you…

You: I’m bored and not fully focused on this task, please bring up a selection of thoughts based on emotional importance to reinforce existing learning.
Brainoogle: Are you sure about that?
You: Not really but let’s roll the dice; C’mon happy thoughts….
Brainoogle: Let’s see… searching… Current stimulus = At Work ADD Most frequent thought cross referenced with emotional potency REMOVE results older than one year…
Loading… Loading…
Brainoogle: Here is a vivid memory of the time you caught your boyfriend cheating on you with your co-worker. QUE Chemical release attached emotion – Anger leading to heart wrenching sadness.
You: Where is that BI*CH! I’ll kill her! She ruined my life! I have nothing left! I’m useless!
Brainoogle: RELEASE TEARS… and my job is done for the next 30 minutes… time for my smoke break.

Like and share if you can relate.. But joke aside, it is important to understand that although you can’t always control what you think, you CAN CONTROL how you interpret these thoughts. Using cognitive restructuring YOU are able to reprogram these conditioned responses BUT it takes time and continued effort. You cannot just break the memory/emotion neurological process over night. The more we think about any one topic, the stronger the bond gets. It’s that simple. The reason you can’t move on, is because you keep thinking about how you can’t move on. The stimuli is only relevant so long as you keep reinforcing that emotional bond.

So here is the answer; and I know It’s not as easy as just switching off the thought. You can’t just stop thinking about it, that’s impossible. Every where you go, you will be reminded of the connection, it’s inevitable. This is your brain actively learning and improving. A very necessary function to human life… Example, you see a movie; ‘this is where we used to date’ ect ect. Excluding serious brain trauma/concussion, you can’t just erase memories.

So what do we do; this all leads back to my first question… See what I did there… *wink*

Until you have decided what you truly want, and you yourself believe it, you will never be able to ‘let go’. In many cases, people can get back together, and they can live happily ever after, and sometimes people learn to forgive and have meaningful friendships, and so on. OR you may decide that YOU WILL NEVER LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN!!!

Decide on a goal, weighing up the pro’s and con’s, and decide once and for all what you want, then try your best to achieve it and with success or failure you will have closure. Anything else is only reinforcing unhealthy mind sets.

You need to change the emotional attachment through sheer unwavering repetition. Every time you have that thought/memory, you need to remind yourself that the future is better than the past. You will be happier in the future! You may not be ‘happy’ now, but you know you are working to make a better future. You need to re-wire any thought you had, and reconstruct it with a positive outlook. Thinking about your ex? ‘you’re better off without them’. REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT.

There is no easy fix, and your brain is trying to help you avoid the same mistakes. The amazing thing is; after you have deconstructed and remade that memory chain, these very same thoughts you’re having now, will actually bring you joy in the future. When you start the next amazing connection, it will only add to the richness and vigor of those memories and create a happier, better you.

 

Have any questions or want more details? Find me at www.facebook.com/timreplies/




Surgical Menopause – getting into your Menopause too early

 

Four months ago I had my ovaries removed. It was a shock. One minute I was fine, the next I was doubled up in pain, certain that my appendix was rupturing. A quick trip to hospital and an ultrasound showed a large tumour on my ovary. I asked if it was cancerous. The Emergency Department Consultant could not tell me. The only specialist who was not on holiday could not see me for 10 days. Why do all specialists go on holiday at the same time? It was the same when my sons needed grommets. They were all away. Shouldn’t doctors have to stagger their holidays like any other professional?

My initial meeting with the specialist was not positive and I thought about seeing someone else, but I was not keen on a 3 month wait. I was frightened that I had cancer, so I went with the first person available.

The appointment started badly when she asked why I was there. I told her that I have a tumour on my ovary and was promptly told that “we don’t call it a “tumour”, it is a “mass””. I knew at that point that it was going to be a rough road. Every other doctor from the ED Consultant through to my GP called it a tumour. There was even an arrow pointing to it on the ultrasound scan which is marked “tumour”. However, I was told firmly that I was not to call it that. I don’t know if this was supposed to make me feel better, or happier or reassured. Either way it achieved nothing and I spent the following week looking up ovarian cancer websites and trying to prepare myself for the worst. The specialist said she could operate a week later so I filled in all the admission paperwork and then hit the chocolate. It did nothing for my waistline but it made me feel brighter. Where there is chocolate there is hope.

I arrived at hospital the following week, petrified and with a bag full of chocolate to get me through the recovery in hospital. Green and Blacks I love you. I will buy shares. It was only your milk chocolate that got me through the following weeks. If you noticed a profits spike in April and May, that was down to me.

After waiting in reception for 2 hours I was taken to a ward full of people waiting to have gynaecological surgery. I was apparently third on the list. Why I had to be there at 6.30am when they did not intend to operate before 11am, beats me.

Once I was in a gown and tucked up in bed, the nurse looking after us all decided we all needed to have an enema. I think she was bored. I was expecting a tube up my bottom so was quite relieved when it just turned out to be a tablet. A modern enema involves a tablet being stuck up your bottom and being told to hold it as long as you can before you race to the toilet. There were 8 of us waiting for surgery. The nurse gave us all an enema within minutes of each other. There was one toilet on the ward. The outcome was predictable to everyone except the nurse administering the tablet. I learned a lot of new yoga positions as I was standing in queue outside the one toilet, trying desperately to hold on. There was no commode available. As I was wheeled off for surgery, I hoped the nurse with the smart idea was the one to have to clean up.

I woke up in my own room after the surgery. I was hungry but the nurse told me that I had to be on clear fluids until my bowel had moved. That proved to be a long time. Why did they give me an enema in the first place? Chicken consommé does not help you have a movement. If it goes in liquid, it comes out liquid. I decided that they were just malicious. Three days of chicken consommé and lime jelly later, I was ready to strangle someone, so I lied. I told the doctor I had been to the toilet. The food ban was lifted. I ate chocolate. It was good, really good. In fact it tasted like manna from heaven. My 6 year old saw it on offer at the local supermarket. My husband and son emptied the shelves. My cupboard overflowed…There is no painkiller as effective as a large bar of Green and Blacks Organic Milk Chocolate. Just liquefy it and hook me up to a drip!

I knew that having my ovaries removed would send me into surgical menopause. What I did not know was how quickly it would happen. The various websites were quite vague about it. I knew that I would need to go on to HRT until the age that I would naturally go into the menopause (generally assumed to be around the age of 51) to replace the oestrogen that was no longer being provided.

I thought that I would be given HRT immediately. Apparently not. The specialist decided it would be good for me to experience what menopause was like before allowing me to have the oestrogen patches. The hot flushes kicked in 2 days post-surgery. I endured 5 days of hot flushes and night sweats before discharging myself against doctor’s orders. Only then did she agree to give me the patches. She told me that women should be able to deal with menopause when it happens, whether or not that is down to surgery. I beg to differ.

I did wonder why I, as her patient, had to suffer because of her beliefs about HRT. It made me wonder how much else of her advice was her opinion, versus official recommendations. I went to see my GP five days later and she was brilliant. When I told her I was still suffering hot flushes and night sweats, she upped my dosage of HRT, saying that nobody needed to suffer unnecessarily. The hot flushes and night sweats stopped within 24 hours. My doctor is the best!

It was a long five weeks until I found out I did not have Ovarian Cancer. The specialist forgot to email my GP with the results, so she found out from me that I was in the clear.

The HRT patches work well. I have had to put an alarm in my phone to remind me to change them twice a week, but apart from that it is all fine. My tummy is squidgier than it was and it was a few weeks before my sons were able to bounce on my lap again. However, I have recovered well and am now back to exercising and back on motherly duties again. All credit to my in-laws who moved in and looked after the children for me while I recovered. All credit to my eldest son who reminded my husband to keep resupplying the chocolate.

While this has been a long story I think the main points I wanted to make are that if you are told that there is something wrong that may be very serious, read around. Don’t just read around the subject, read online reviews of the hospital and the specialist you are seeing. I wish that I had, as the same comments I have made above, had previously been made by others having similar surgery at the same hospital, with the same consultant.

Be willing to look further afield for a consultant and a hospital to have the surgery done at, if this is an option where you live. I looked within a 10 mile radius of my home, at 3 possible hospitals and I based my choice purely on opening hours, not on online reviews. If I had gone as far as 30 miles, I may have had a different experience. Finally, read up on the after effects of the surgery, any follow up medication you may need and the pros and cons of it. Use reputable websites, such as those of national or international charities specialising in your condition. Go into your doctor armed to the teeth with information, don’t just take the specialist’s word for it. Knowledge is power and power is confidence. If you are confident of your information when you face your specialist, you may have a lot better experience than if you accept without question, the information that specialist gives you. Finally, take to the hospital whatever it is that will make you feel good afterwards, as a quick boost every now and again, can only be a good thing for your recovery.




29 Tips and Tricks for Traveling the World with Kids

 

 

Pulling off a great family vacation requires a lot of planning, patience and effort. You get better at all this the more you do it. You stay more focused on what’s important — and less on what’s not. I’ve traveled a lot with my kids — and learned a lot of lessons — these are my top tips for having a great time while traveling with children.

Planning Your Trip

1. Check the validity of your passports. Be sure they’re good for 3 months after the day of your arrival home. Many people make the mistake of thinking that as long as they’re back home before their passports expire they’ll be fine. (It seems like common sense doesn’t it?) But not so. Authorities will often demand that your passport be good for several weeks — even several months for some countries — past the day of your arrival home. Some airlines will not let you board the plane if there is not enough extra time on your passport.

2. Scan your passports and email them to yourself, along with any other important documents — e.g. green card, birth certificate, the visa pages of your passport. If you ever lose your passports abroad, this will save you a ton of time and hassle when you have to replace them.

3. Notify your credit card companies before you leave. Banks are very careful about fraud nowadays — and run algorithms on your billing history to spot any irregularities. A charge from a country or city that you’ve never previously had a charge from could easily get your credit card frozen. And unfreezing your account from a foreign city in a different time zone, will be a lot harder than just calling your bank before departure.

4. Take more than one credit or debit card. Cards work differently in foreign countries, some will work at bank ATM but not at a corner store ATM, others will work in restaurants but not at an ATM. There are a number of complex rules and reasons but if you don’t work in the banking industry you’ll never know all of them. The best remedy is to take multiple cards.

5. Make an Out-The-Door list. Leaving for the airport — as your holiday starts — is one of the most stressful times of any trip. Have a list of things you need to grab as you’re leaving your home. I don’t mean a list of things you need to take (i.e. 2 pairs of pants, 3 t-shirts ). I mean a list of things you’ll need to physically grab. It should be a last minute checklist of all the little (and big) things you’ll need as you are going out the door. There will be the bags of course, the money belt, some water in the fridge for the airport, some snacks on the counter and sweaters for the plane. Plus all the indispensables you’ll want to double-check one last time before heading to the airport: passports, credit cards, cash. There’s a lot to remember — so have a list for it!

6. Put enough in your carry-on bags for the first day or 2 of your trip. This is good advice for anyone but especially when traveling with kids. If your bags are lost you don’t want to be hunting for diapers or a pair of shorts immediately after your arrival in a new city or country.

7. Count your suitcases, backpacks, handbags and keep the number in your head. This is simple and maybe painfully obvious, but it sure helps. You hop in a taxi, “bag count — 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  — yep they’re all here”. Easy. (Bigger families may want to conduct a kid count as well.)

8.Use a small digital camera. The fantastic shots you think you’ll get of the Grand Canyon, or Taj Mahal or Great Wall of China will be left and forgotten. The really great photos that you’ll love and savor for years to come will be the up-close and intimate shots of your kids and your family. And the key to getting great family photos is to take a lot of them. A ton of them! And the way you do that is to take a small camera, have it with you all the time and take pictures as quickly and discreetly as possible. You might insist, I’ll do all that, but with a bigger better camera. But you probably won’t.

9. Book a hotel for your first nights of your trip — but then stay flexible. My advice for traveling singles (or couples) is always to book a hotel for their first night after arrival, then get your bearings, figure out where you want to go and just find hotels as you need them. I’ve upgraded this for traveling families — reserve the first 2 or 3 nights. I realize this advice won’t work for everyone. Some people need certainty and plans and dates. And having all your hotels reserved for the duration of your trip can make things easier. But you’ll also lose some flexibility. If something’s working — if you’ve found a great little beach resort or a really fun hotel with a friendly staff — you’ll have to say goodbye because you’ve already booked a room in the next town. On the other hand having the freedom to leave a place that isn’t living up to expectations is a great bonus and can make the difference between an average vacation and an unforgettable one.

Practicalities of Travel

10. Welcome — don’t fear — airport security. Security checkpoints force parents to be lean and efficient with their packing. Take what you need but don’t take what is unnecessary. Security can also be a good reason not to take stuff on the plane that you don’t want your kid to have (i.e. your kid’s new water gun). And insisting that you keep all your little bottles and creams in a Ziploc bag — what a great idea!

11. Don’t line up early for trains and airplanes or anything where you have a reserved seat. If you’re one of those people who like to maximize their time on the airplane, by all means, board early, get that seat warm, burn through all your snacks before anyone else has even boarded. How great!  You’ll have enough time on the plane without artificially extending it. As my son said on our return trip from Tokyo, “We have to go when they say final call right Papa?” Right!

12. One parent in charge. Don’t share the burden of any one duty while traveling. Packing for example. One person packs and knows where everything is. Two people pack and no one really knows where anything is. Same with hotels. One person plans them, arranges them, and books them. Do you have that confirmation email or do I? Na-Uh!

13. Get online storage for photos. Besides losing the kids, my photos are what I’m most concerned with losing. Forget your bag on the train platform and there goes your camera — and your photos. You can get free online storage at Adrive (50GB) or SkyDrive (25GB). (You will need a laptop, of course, to upload your photos.) Upload your pictures every night or two and then when you take your camera out on that fishing trip you’re not worried about dropping your camera and losing the last 2 weeks of photos.

14. Hire a car and driver. If you’re traveling in an inexpensive or developing country consider getting a driver instead of driving yourself. Prices are usually reasonable and they’ll know the ways and customs of the road better than you will. (Tip: have the address of your destination for longer distance trips. When you start your trip the driver will inevitably say, “Oh yes, I know where that is”, which translates to “I’ll ask for directions when we get there”. An address, instead of just a name, will help speed the process.)

Being There

15. Beat jet lag: stay up late the first night. Get outside and do something active. Long walks are good. Parks and playgrounds are great. Kids are usually so excited by their new environment you can get away with doing a lot that at home might not work. One caveat: most people forget — or don’t realize — that meal times can be way off as well in a new time zone. If your child usually eats a big breakfast and lunch but a small dinner at home. This can translate into no appetite at breakfast or lunch and then ravenous hunger at 7pm and midnight. Have a good array of healthful snacks in your hotel room on the first night.

16. Have a plan for the day. It doesn’t need to be cast in stone – stay flexible and easy going — but you should walk out the hotel door in the morning with a plan of where you’re going, what subway or bus you’re taking, what attractions do you have planned for the day? Perhaps obvious and natural to some but for me it wasn’t and once I took the time to plan the day on the night before, everything became a lot easier.

16. Check the website of the attraction just before your visit. It’s amazing how often museums will have closed for renovations, changed their schedule, or have a visiting show in place of its usual exhibits. Sometimes these changes can be nothing more than a nuisance. Other times they can ruin your plans for the day. Checking the website in the days before your visit eliminates most of this uncertainty.

17. Ask your hotel concierge for suggestions. Another obvious one that you nonetheless might skip because it sounds so touristy and lame. But they often know little tips and tricks for getting around the city and visiting attractions that can make your life a lot easier. Depending on the style of hotel asking at the front desk will often get you the owner or management who might have a monetary interest in directing you towards a certain establishment or tour group. A concierge usually has no connections at all and just give good advice.

18. Don’t do too much BUT don’t do too little either. I think the biggest mistake parents traveling with kids make is doing too little not too much. Get out there. Enjoy. Experience. Wear the kids out and get them tired.

Things to Pack

This could be a long list. I’ve picked 6 essentials.

19. A swim shirt. These make applying sun lotion so much easier. The back, shoulders and face burn the easiest and this takes 2 of those 3 out of play. But they’re not useful just on hot sunny days. If you’re swimming slightly out of the summer season — or even at a temperate swimming pool — they help keep some heat in and delay those chattering teeth for a little longer.

20. A great baby carrier or backpack. These are life savers in airports, train stations, cobblestone streets and hotels without elevators. Strollers are something to consider but if you have a little baby with you, a good carrier is close to a necessity.

21. A fabric high chair. These wrap around pretty much any type or size of chair and hold the baby in place so they can sit at the table. (There are many on the market but Totseat is a good one if you’re looking for names.)

22. A flashlight and a nightlight. Street lighting might not be as consistent as in your hometown and you’ll probably have a few nights returning to your hotel down a quiet road or path. A torch or flashlight can come in very handy. And a nightlight for the bathroom: Hotel rooms are unfamiliar and finding a bathroom in the middle of the night can be tricky. If your child — or even you — have to turn on a light it makes it much more likely they’ll have trouble getting back to sleep. A stumble over an unfamiliar ledge in a dark bathroom could make for a midnight visit to the hospital — or at least a lot of tears. A nightlight (with plug adapter if necessary) can solve these problems.

23. First Aid Tape— aka surgical tape. This stuff is great. Adhesive tape that is so much easier to apply than a band aid and actually sticks to fingers, toes, and the places kids really get cuts.

Staying Safe

Most things you do won’t make any difference. The top 5 that might:

24. Know the fire escapes. A good practice at any time but especially in foreign countries where the exits and escape routes might not be as well marked.

25. Drill your kids on swimming pool safety. When staying in a hotel with a swimming pool remind your young kids that they don’t go in the pool without telling mom or dad. Make it the first thing you do after you put down your bags in the room.

26. Get the necessary vaccines and get them early. Check with the CDC or NHS and get the relevant vaccines and anti-malarial medicines well before departure — some vaccines can require multiple visits and can take a few months to get the entire series of shots. Many adults haven’t had their booster shots, so get those as well. There’s nothing worse than getting a deep cut in place far from a hospital and then having to worry about whether your Tetanus booster is up to date.

27. Fly longer distances and avoid the highways. Flying is the safest mode of transport. There can be many reasons to drive instead of fly but don’t ever not fly and choose car or bus for safety reasons alone. The attacks on 9/11 killed almost 3000 people. Unknown to many, it also resulted in the death of another 2100 in the months that followed because people stopped flying and chose the road instead — a much more dangerous mode of transport. And that’s in the U.S. — if you’re traveling in a developing country the disparity in road and flight safety rates will be even higher.

28. Play act out unusual or worrisome scenarios. If you’re concerned about your child being lost in a busy market, then act out the scene and what they should do. If you tell a kid what to do when they’re lost, they’ll probably forget it. If you act out what they should do they’re much more likely to remember it. (There’s a reason employers do fire evacuation drills — they work!)

Last Word

29. Stay Positive! Be Happy! This can mean many things. For starters, you need a keen eye for what’s important and what’s not. With the typical boundaries and rules turned up side down, it’s very easy to become a “No, No, No, No” parent. Focus on the important stuff. Things that make your day easier and keep everyone safe. Try to hear yourself talking — you should be saying far more positive things than negative things.

Like at home, praise effort not results. Praise the process not the outcome. Comment on how hard they worked or how patient they were, not how well they did a task or how good they are at something.

And finally it means, living in the moment and taking everything in that you can. Live it! Experience it! Try new things and get out of your comfort zone. Become a kid again — explore, investigate, ask questions — and your children will come right along with you.




There’s an evolutionary secret that can help you understand how to attract men and make them desire you

 

Attraction between the sexes, as complicated as it may seem, is pretty simple to explain in a few lines.

Girls are more easily attracted to a guy who appears healthy and stress-free, has a good level of testosterone which makes him appear more manly and chiseled, and has a protective streak in him which makes him a good mate material and a father.

Guys, on the other hand, are more easily attracted to girls based on their appearance or behavior.

But that’s not it though.

To truly understand how to attract men and how a man’s mind works, we need to get deeper into the concept of attraction from the male point of view.

How to attract men in a way they can’t resist

A guy may like a girl for different reasons, but when it comes to physical or sexual attraction at first sight, her physical appearance and her behavior matters more than anything else.

So if you want to attract a man and make him desire you, you just need to get his attention the right way. And the rest, as they say, is history!

You need to keep this in mind though, love and attraction are two completely different things. A guy may find you extremely attractive, yet he may not end up falling in love with you for his own reasons.

But for love to blossom in the first place, you need to build the sexual attraction before you make him fall in love with you. It’s the safest way to make sure the guy falls for you and stays in love with you.

Attraction and how a man views a woman’s body

As we know that physical attraction plays a very big part in attracting a guy, you need to understand what a guy’s mind tells him when he sees you and sizes you up.

When a guy sees a girl’s physical assets, he subconsciously sees more than just your breasts or your butt. The right curves in all the right places tells a guy that a girl is fertile and has come of age, and that she’s healthy because her body can afford to waste energy on developing her curves which play the biggest role in sexual attraction.

A guy may think a girl is attractive. But in his subconscious mind, he’s gauging you as the woman who may carry his offspring one day.

Testosterone and a man’s sexual preference

Every man produces testosterone, a sexual hormone, in his testes. And women produce a small amount of testosterone in their ovaries. The more testosterone a man produces, the more manly he looks and the more sexually virile he is. His facial features appear manlier, his jaws are wider and more chiseled and his voice is deeper.

And several studies have shown that the more manly a man is, the more attracted he’d be to women who exhibit feminine traits *girlie, cute traits*.

On the other hand, a small percentage of men who produce a lesser-than-normal amount of testosterone may find themselves getting more attracted to women who are less feminine and more controlling and dominant in the relationship.

So if you’re trying to catch the attention of a typical guy *a large percentage of men have normal or high production of testosterone even though the overall average testosterone levels have dropped significantly in American men over the last 50 years*, chances are, he’d love you if your behavior is more feminine, cute and girly!

The perfect woman for a real man – She’s cute and sexy

A regular man who isn’t suffering from low testosterone would always find a feminine woman more attractive than a woman who thinks femininity is overrated and displays traits that are traditionally considered manly.

While a girl’s physical appearance is the biggest sign of femininity, at times, it helps if you can display more femininity in your behavior. No, I’m not saying pink frills and scented paper. But there are always other ways to appear cuter and get a guy to take a second and third look at you.

Why do guys like cute girls?

Men have always been the more aggressive sex in the human species. They’re usually the ones who spread their legs wider, stand tall and swell their chest up while trying to appear threatening all the time, more so when they’re in an argument or when they meet someone they see as a threat in any manner.

But cute changes everything. When a girl behaves in a cute and feminine manner, it brings out the protective instincts of a man. Instead of feeling threatened by a feminine girl, he feels protective about her. That makes him feel more masculine, and that’s something every guy loves to feel!

When a girl reveals her vulnerable side to a guy, it’s very hard for any guy to ignore her or avoid noticing her vulnerability. And the instant his mind connects with her vulnerability, it eliminates any thoughts of a threat and his protective side creates a bond of protection and attachment with her.

He feels the need to be around her, and his subconscious mind tries very hard to make her feel protected, comfortable and loved around him. He loses his aggressive stance, the tone of his voice softens down, and his shoulders droop down towards her instead of spreading wide. And before he even gives attraction a second thought, he’d realize that he likes the girl already!

Traits of a cute and feminine girl that draw real man

Many girls are against the idea of being feminine or behaving in a cute manner. To a typical feminist, behaving in a demure or coy manner is a sign of weakness. And they can’t accept that a guy finds a cute *and dare, we say it… submissive* girl more attractive than a girl who likes to be a non-girlie girl.

If you’re feminine, you don’t really have to be cute. But if you can pull off a perfectly cute personality, it would only add to your allure and make you more desirable among men.

To understand cute behavior better, all you need is to interact with a couple of Japanese or Thai girls whose behavior isn’t influenced by us Americans. They’re not meek or silly, nor do they have to behave like stupid bimbos to win a guy’s affection. All they have to do is flaunt what sets them apart, and that’s their femininity and grace.

And no testosterone laden guy can resist the allure of a sweet Asian girl when he’s having a conversation with her. Everything about them makes them appear more beautiful and feminine, right from their cute heart signs with inverted hands, the way they nod their heads, the way they behave while having a conversation with you to the way they smile coyly and yet so warmly.

Femininity comes naturally to some girls *not just Asian girls*, but it’s an art that’s worth learning. If you want to know how to attract men, all you need to do is exude your feminine side while talking to them. And once you try that, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

And remember, a cute girl who displays her feminine side will always have an edge over all other girls when she’s trying to catch the attention of a real man!

How to bring out your feminine side naturally

Femininity comes naturally. But cuteness can be created by the way you behave.

Additionally, if you’re on a date with a guy and want to come across as a girl who’s in touch with her femininity, here are a couple of tips for you.

#1 Dress in softer pastel colors like peach or mauve. The color will give your skin tone a healthy glow that makes you look warm and likeable instantly.

#2 Smile more often. A smile can make you appear more pleasant and friendly.

#3 Run your fingers through your hair delicately. Always works for any guy!

#4 Tip your head slightly downwards when you’re blushing or smiling, and look at him from under your eyebrow.

These four tips may sound bizarre for a feminist or a cute-bashing girl, but trust me, it will do wonders for your date!

A tip to remember – Don’t be yourself if you can be better

Contrary to popular belief, don’t be yourself. Evolve.

When someone tells you that the best way to attract someone is by being yourself, well, they’re not entirely right. All of us change all the time. And not every change that we see in ourselves may be in the right direction.

Who are you? How would you define yourself? We are who we are because of our socioeconomic status, the people around us, and other influences we’ve had in our lifetime. A lucky few may have had the opportunity to be influenced by the perfect examples, while most of us have to change to become better individuals. Or worse, we never get to become better individuals  or achieve the full potential that’s within us because we’re convinced we’re all perfect already.

You don’t have to change yourself just to attract men, but change yourself to become a better you. Have you ever walked into a room full of attractive women, and found yourself thinking that a few of those girls were better than you in some way? When you meet a woman and find yourself in awe of her for any reason at all, it only means you admire and want some particular trait of hers that you lack yourself.

If you like a trait about a friend, be it her spontaneity, her courage, her carefree attitude, her posture, or the way she dresses up, your mind may subconsciously like that trait because you want to see that trait in yourself. A change of this kind is good, where you see something you like and want to see that in yourself.

A girl who is the epitome of perfection in every way *if she does exist* won’t be awed by anyone else. On the other hand, everywhere she goes, she’d be the girl that would receive compliments, stares and awed jaws!

So change often, become the dream girl you fantasize about in your head, and be the girl you really want to be. And life will turn out to be so much better for you, be it about men, work, friends or anything else.

It’s easy to push a thought away and assume it’s wrong to be feminine or assume it’s a bad thing to change. But trust me, change is good. And change is inevitable. So you’re going to change whether you like it or not. And you have a choice to become a better you, or a worse you.

The last word about the science of attraction between the sexes

We’re all animals, and you shouldn’t forget that. We may be wearing pants or walking on two feet, but that doesn’t change our primal instincts. We still chase each other and woo each other just like the animals in the wild.

The male and female sexes still play games to win each other’s affection. Human males still like to woo a female through their display of brute strength, dexterity or their sheer awesomeness. And a man laden with male hormones wants a woman who’s graceful and feminine, because subconsciously, it makes him feel more like a man.

You don’t have to pretend to be dumb or weak, nor do you have to behave like the weaker sex just to attract a man. All you need to do is revel in your femininity and display your cuteness, and give the man you like a chance to bask in his manliness and show off his protectiveness!

Understanding how to attract men is really simple. Enjoy your femininity and let the world see it. The men will come, yes, they’ll come in droves!

Lovepanky




To love or not to love

We all need or long to be Loved, don’t we? Well for most of us anyways… However if our heart has been broken then we may say’ never again’! And we put this not looking ‘Not looking for love shield up’ to protect us…’To protect our Heart’

It can be quite a strong unplesent emotion, while this shield is up. We can become numb, we can pretend we are tough, uninterested, esy going, not bothered and theirs a possibility that to an outsiders view ‘Unactractive. But you know what? Just when you think your not looking for love, maybe, just maybe, someone else is and maybe they are looking at you.

And then when they make contact and express their interest in you, You remember how nice it felt to be looked at from across the room, smiled at, flirted with, kissed, before you know it, you ask… How did this happen? I did’nt expect this?

You  feel this can’t be happening, because you stopped believing in love, because your heart was broken… your waiting for it to all go wrong, to end as soon as it started, your waiting to be forgotten about, you might even make excuses to to end it yourself, because you still have that proctective shield, that hurt, that question of trust, respect and doubt your heart or the feeling that are creeping in totally unkown to you.

But what if the other person believes that, to finish with each other, would be a silly thing to do, that what you have together is good, because they don’t see that proctive shield nor have they a proctive shield, because they are looking into your eyes, your sole, your emotion, your hearts are in sink with each others, it will skip a beat just to catch up.

They like this emotion, this intensity and to be honest so are you.

But heres the scary bit, what do you do when you both reliase you both care very much for each other, you enjoy being with each other, you have become friends that support each other and long to hold each other…. ‘You may even be falling in Love’. You did’nt think that was possible but right under your nose, it’s happened and it feels wonderful.

Well heres my advice, from my past broken heart, from behind my proctive shield! Relax, lower that shield, enjoy the moment, enjoy the time, the attention , the affection, enjoy that sweet happy emotion, enjoy love!

Because time is precious, time is short, time passes us by. Its better to take the risk of that emotion, those feelings of love, because love can be hard to find, consume it!

You will have learned some important things from your past, so use them, but only some of them, because its better to have gained than to have lost or to never know.

Claire