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How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back (and Keep Him) in 7 Steps

It doesn’t matter who broke up and why, you want him back no matter what. How do you get him back? What works, what doesn’t and why? Make sure you don’t mess up, or he might never want to hear about you again, let alone get back together. Here are 7 tips to help you make him love you more than ever.

There’s a reason he’s your ex-boyfriend, and your job is to erase that reason out of his memory – forever. He’s out there, dating other women with more or less success. Is he still thinking about you, does he still love you; does he also want to get back together?

Who knows! Maybe he does, maybe not. Either way, you want to hook up again because you’ve realized you still love him. Every other guy you meet can’t match his qualities and this just makes you go insane. Every date you go on with some new guy seems boring and shallow, you find yourself comparing him to your ex and this makes you feel even worse.

It’s time to get THAT guy back into your life.

But how?

Smack him over the head with a brick, throw him in the trunk of your car and take him home. Okay, maybe not. Let’s try something subtler.

Here’s how to get your ex-boyfriend back:

You need to make him feel terrible for breaking up with you. He should feel like a dumbass for letting you go. That’s what you need to make him feel like if you want to get him back. You won’t get him back by spying and stalking him (stop checking his Facebook every 2 minutes), but by making him remember all the great times you had together, and making him imagine how nicer life could be if you were still together.

This requires you to make some radical changes in your life.

Stop and give at least 30 seconds of thought to each of the questions below. Answer honestly; Say it out loud to yourself.

  • What is it that went wrong in your relationship?
  • Why?
  • What is it that he did not like about your relationship?
  • What would you do differently if you got back together?
  • What did he love most about your relationship?
  • What did you love most?
  • What was restricting the love in your relationship the most? What was stopping it from growing further?
  • Did you give your absolute best to make the relationship work?

Think about these questions. Don’t be too critical of either him or yourself. All this emotional bullshit, arguing and blaming each other for crap is one of the reasons you might have broken up in the first place.

We rarely know what we have – until we lose it.

Now you know what you’ve lost, and you are about to get it back. Nobody can guarantee you that you’ll end up being together again – but, in at least 90% of the cases, it’s totally possible. You must believe in the possibility.

  • Why did you guys fall for each other in the first place?
  • What connected you?

There must have been something that he fell in love with in the first place.

  • Why did this disappear?
  • Did you take each other for granted?
  • Did you both get lazy about your relationship and just left it on autopilot?

The reason you must answer these questions to yourself is so that you can determine a couple of things. First, do you really want to get him back, will you be happy or are you just lonely right now, but deep inside you know that it probably won’t work out if you get back together? You must believe that things will work out between the two of you and that you can be happy together again. Otherwise, if you don’t have total belief in this relationship, then it’s not worth trying to get him back.

I’ll assume you’ve decided that things can work out between you and him, so now, the question is – what can you do so that he believes in your relationship too?

#1 Get Better

 

As mentioned above, you need to be better than what he remembers you to be. Hotter. Way hotter. This can be a huge motivator to any guy to get back together. It’s important that you don’t see each other for some time, and then once you do – he is just blown away by how much prettier you’ve become.

This will make him feel horrible that he can’t have you anymore whenever he wants. Desire kicks in, and now he feels like an idiot for not staying with you. After he runs into you, he’ll think “Gosh, she looks amazing!” – just wait to see his jaw drop when he sees how you look 5 times better. I know this sounds shallow, but it works simply because most guys think with what they’ve got in their pants, not with their heart or brain. Even if he’s a pretty smart guy, physical attraction can be the first step to getting your ex-boyfriend back. It’s just the first step, but it’s a crucial one – ’cause now you’ve got your foot in the door. You throw a hook and wait for him to bite.

#2 Forgive Him

 

The second step to getting your ex back is forgiveness. You’ll never be able to be together again if you can’t forgive each other. Initiate this yourself. Why did you break up? Did you cheat, did he cheat, did the love evaporate, or you got bored, what is it? It doesn’t really matter the point is that you give each other a clean slate. Don’t talk about what happened in the past with him.

Start over. Click the reset button. Whatever he did wrong – get over it. Forgive yourself if you’ve made mistakes and forgive him, you are both guilty in one way or another, and reminding each other about it won’t help. You can’t get back together if you are enemies, so stay close to each other by forgiving. Let the past go. Every day is a new opportunity for you to have a better life with a great guy, maybe it’s him – and now that you’re starting over, you’ve learned from your mistakes, but you can continue on only when you manage to forgive.

#3 Don’t Find a New Guy

 

Listen, sure, finding some new dude may be okay for you as a bandade, but it won’t help you get your ex-boyfriend back. You should make him jealous in a smarter way. Like, he should see that there are guys mingling around you, but don’t let him see that you’ve actually found someone. Don’t post stupid, drunken-party pictures on Facebook of you making out with some random dude.

That definitely won’t help, he’ll just hate you and he’ll feel hurt, almost as if you were cheating on him. Instead… he has to see that you are still emotionally available for him, you just need some space and time to heal after your break up. Hint him that you might like to get back together, but don’t attack him about it. Give him space and see how he reacts.

#4 Change Yourself

 

Look, if you’re serious about this guy and you really want him back in your life, then you must change. Changing may not be easy, but it’s necessary if you want your relationship to be better than the last time. It’s quite simple. If you keep doing what you’ve been doing – you’ll keep getting the same results. So don’t expect a happily ever after, supercool happy ending if you aren’t willing to do things differently than you did before, otherwise you’ll just end up breaking up again.

So, find out what messed up your relationship and work on it. Were you too cranky, moody, jealous, demanding, insane, nagging-all-day, not giving him his space and freedom, disrespectful, got fat, made out with another guy, or you just sucked in bed? Whichever it was – fix it. He needs to see that, after a month or so of breaking up, you are progressing; suddenly you became a different person. But do it for you, not for him. Once he sees how much different you became he’ll wish you never broke up in the first place, he’ll want to give the whole thing another chance too.

#5 Initiate Contact

Now, it’s time to actually get back in touch with your ex. It depends; maybe you didn’t see each other, or talk, for months, or even a year. Maybe you just broke up two weeks ago and everything is still very emotional and fresh. Either way, you can’t get back together with him over the phone, so you need to see each other.

My suggestion, from a male perspective, having sex immediately once you meet up again may be a wrong choice. Even if you’ve been together for a long time before, it’s good to make everything seem new, and different. If he messed up, and that’s the reason you broke up, you shouldn’t make it that easy for him to get back together. Throw in some temptation.

He needs to desire you, a lot. Be sexy and provocative, but don’t sleep together the first time you meet to “catch up” and see whether he also wants to get back together or not. Let him think about you. Drop a hook, and make him feel horrible when he sees how much you’ve improved, how well you are doing, how sexy you look and how your life is taking another direction. Don’t try to fake it. He knows you and he’ll know whether you’re full of crap or not.

For real, change yourself for the better; let him see that and he’ll want to be part of it. But you won’t let him back into your world overnight – even if you really, really want to get him back, don’t. You both need some time to appreciate each other for other things then sex. And when the sex does come, it better be mind-blowing. Then again, don’t be clingy and don’t call him every day after that – love all over again – instead, take your time. Let him think about you and worry a bit.

You had sex, but do you want to get back together or not? Let him wonder and guess, let him compare you to other women he might have been with since you were apart. He’ll soon realize what a mistake he’s made, and he’ll never want to make that mistake (breaking up with you) again.

The point isn’t just that you get your ex back, but that you KEEP him. Often folks just have sex again, once or twice, but things don’t work out and they end up breaking up again. So don’t take anything for granted. Make sure he has the best night of his life when you make up, but after that don’t drop into your “old” relationship with your ex, instead – create something new.

Keep it different. All the bad experiences you had in the past with him, everything that reminds you of those not-so-happy experiences – try to avoid them. Change your apartment if you can, move, have some tangible things that are different, clothes, your perfume, anything that makes him feel as if he was with a new you, a better you, that he’ll never want to let go no matter what.

When you guys meet up for dinner/coffee, whatever, don’t talk about the past , why you broke up and stuff like that. Ask him what’s new in his life, how he’s doing, maybe remind him of something nice that only you know about him that you can both laugh about it. Keep the conversation light. Super-emotional, could-a, would-a, should-a stuff will just bring you back to where you were.

Then and there, don’t analyze, argue or talk about negative stuff. Turn the page. Keep walking in a new direction. It’s your ex-boyfriend that will become your new girlfriend, it’s you – his ex-girlfriend, that will become a new girlfriend. Give each other a clean slate. When you leave the place, don’t kiss. Give him a deep gaze, let your eyes, not your mouth say: I love you.

Let him see it, but don’t say it. Tell him you had a great time, and that you could meet up some time to hang out… he will feel like his leg was chopped of for not kissing, but he will know that you want more, that there might be a new, bright future for the two of you. All night he’ll be flipping around in bed, thinking about how beautiful you are and how much he wants to get back with you. I’m not saying you should be ice-cold when you meet up, on the contrary, be cold, but a bit mysterious, make him wonder.

Don’t just throw it in his face that you still love him and that you want him back. Be stronger than your emotions. Give the whole “getting back together” process some time; make a good foundation for that future you’ll build together.

 

#6 The Night of His Life

 

Okay, as mentioned before, eventually, you’ll end up at his or your place, taking your clothes off. This night is what will decide whether you’ll get him back or not. I know this sounds shallow, but it’s the truth.

Men are comparing creatures and whether you want him to or not, he’ll subconsciously compare you to other women in his life. Maybe he’s with some new girl right now, and that’s the one you need to take him back from. How do you make sure that this won’t just be a one-night-stand with your ex-boyfriend?

You must be mind-blowing. Everything about you needs to blow his mind. From your lingerie, to your smell, your look, your soft skin, your whole energy and aura needs to excite him to a level he did not know is possible. The moment when he reaches climax is the moment he’ll figure how brilliant you are and how stupid he was to ever leave you.

This may put pressure on you and make you feel self-conscious, and it should. The fact is, you conquer a man’s heart by conquering what’s in his pants, like no other woman ever could. Everything after that is easier. Yet again, this night needs to be different than in the past. It should not remind you too much of the time you were together before, it needs to be better.

This is why it’s ideal if you do it at your place, ’cause then you can prepare a bit, you can make the atmosphere amazing. Anything you’ve not been doing in the past, but know he loves, now’s the time to get with the program. You never gave him oral when you were together before? Are you too shy to talk dirty? Do you hide under the cover?

Think about what you could do better to show him the best night of his life with you and you’ll triple your chances of getting him back.

Hate me all you want for telling you this, but it’s what works and what has worked for thousands of women around the world that got back and kept their ex-boyfriends.

#7 Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Seems like you’ll get him back. You’ve seen each other a couple of times and things are going good. It seems like all will work out great! But wait, and re-think it. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking all is good now and that you’ll just be fine… you may not. People that get back together tend to go back to their old, real ways, because they did not make any real, fundamental changes to their lives.

It was just a mask. Beware, as if you both go back to your old ways of arguing and dealing with problems, you’ll get back to where you were – apart.  Don’t let that happen. Don’t get lazy and don’t take things for granted. The first few weeks of being together again as also the first few weeks where he’s most likely to “run for his life” and leave you or just decide that you shouldn’t have gotten back together in the first place.

How can you prevent this? Really, change. Make him change too. When you become better, you have the right to expect him to get better too. Build a relationship where you grow and improve together as individuals and partners, not enemy’s that slow each other’s progress down. He is not yours and never will be, not even when you both have a ring on your finger, so don’t view him as a thing you’ve got a right over, like owning a car or your shoes.

He can walk away and probably will if you treat him as property. Instead, view him as a customer. You want to make a loyal customer out of your boyfriend that isn’t forced to buy at your shop, but loves to “shop” at your store because he gets treated better than anywhere else. He then grows to need you, love you, and want you – every single day.

There’s more to getting your ex back than this post of course. Every situation is different and requires a slightly different approach. Hopefully at least one tip from above rings a bell and gets you closer on your path to getting Mr. Right back to where he should be, with you, the perfect girlfriend for him.  Once you get him back, don’t take him for granted – a relationship… love… is something you must work on and maintain so that the fire keeps burning, if you just leave it unattended it’ll either go out or get out of proportion and burn down a whole forest.

Laziness is why most relationships fail, and that’s what happens when people take each other for granted. Don’t be one of those couples. Take initiative if he doesn’t, you can totally do it! I believe in you.

 

p.s.: Here’s the 8th step – DO NOTHING. It’s a bit unexpected, but can work to. Simply, don’t call him, don’t try to get back in touch (if he left you), and just wait, forget about him, move on… show power by not making the first move, he’ll wonder how come you didn’t try to get him back. It might be an alternative idea. If nothing else works.

Once you get him back – drop a comment below, let us know what has worked for you, what you did, how and why? Others could benefit from your experience.

Jason

November 5 is the day when Britons everywhere set fire to things and let things off. But why?

 

What is bonfire night?

November 5 – which this year falls on a Saturday –  commemorates the failure of the November 1605 Gunpowder Plot by a gang of Roman Catholic activists led by Warwickshire-born Robert Catesby.

When Protestant King James I acceded to the throne, English Catholics had hoped that the persecution they had felt for over 45 years under Queen Elizabeth I would finally end, and they would be granted the freedom to practice their religion.

When this didn’t transpire, a group of conspirators resolved to assassinate the King and his ministers by blowing up the Palace of Westminster during the state opening of Parliament.

 

Guy (Guido) Fawkes, from York, and his fellow conspirators, having rented out a house close to the Houses of Parliament, managed to smuggle 36 barrels of gunpowder into a cellar of the House of Lords – enough to completely destroy the building.

(Physicists from the Institute of Physics later calculated that the 2,500kg of gunpowder beneath Parliament would have obliterated an area 500 metres from the centre of the explosion).

The scheme began to unravel when an anonymous letter was sent to William Parker, the 4th Baron Monteagle, warning him to avoid the House of Lords.

Guy Fawkes tried and failed to blow up Parliament in the Gunpowder Plot

The letter (which could well have been sent by Lord Monteagle’s brother-in-law Francis Tresham), was made public and this led to a search of Westminster Palace in the early hours of November 5.

Explosive expert Fawkes, who had been left in the cellars to set off the fuse, was caught when a group of guards discovered him at the last moment.

Fawkes was arrested, sent to the Tower of London and tortured until he gave up the names of his fellow plotters.

Lord Monteagle was rewarded with £500 plus £200 worth of lands for his service in protecting the crown.

Who were the Gunpowder Plot conspirators?

Guy Fawkes, Thomas Bates, Robert and Thomas Wintour, Thomas Percy, Christopher and John Wright, Francis Tresham, Everard Digby, Ambrose Rookwood, Robert Keyes, Hugh Owen, John Grant and the man who organised the whole plot – Robert Catesby.

The conspirators were all either killed resisting capture or – like Fawkes – tried, convicted, and executed.

The traditional death for traitors in 17th-century England was to be hanged, drawn and quartered in public. But this proved not to be the 35-year-old Fawkes’s fate.

As he awaited his punishment on the gallows, Fawkes leapt off the platform to avoid having his testicles cut off, his stomach opened and his guts spilled out before his eyes.

Mercifully for him, he died from a broken neck but his body was subsequently quartered, and his remains were sent to “the four corners of the kingdom” as a warning to others.

The aftermath

Following the failed plot, Parliament declared November 5th a national day of thanksgiving, and the first celebration of it took place in 1606.

Following the plot, King James I sought to control non-conforming English Catholics in England. In May 1606, Parliament passed ‘The Popish Recusants Act’ which required any citizen to take an oath of allegiance denying the Pope’s authority over the king.

Observance of the 5th November Act, passed within months of the plot, made church attendance compulsory on that day and by the late 17th Century, the day had gained a reputation for riotousness and disorder and anti-Catholicism. William of Orange’s birthday (November 4th) was also conveniently close.

Guy Fawkes Day today

The Houses of Parliament are still searched by the Yeomen of the Guard before the state opening, which has been held in November since 1928. The idea is to ensure no modern-day Guy Fawkes is hiding in the cellars with a bomb, although it is more ceremonial than serious. And they do it with lanterns.

The cellar that Fawkes tried to blow up no longer exists. In 1834 it was destroyed in a fire which devastated the medieval Houses of Parliament.

Guy Fawkes Day is celebrated in the United Kingdom, and in a number of countries that were formerly part of the British Empire, with fireworks, bonfires and parades. Straw dummies representing Fawkes are tossed on the bonfire, as well as those of contemporary political figures.

Dummies have been burned on bonfires since as long ago as the 13th century, initially to drive away evil spirits. Following the Gunpowder Plot, the focus of the sacrifices switched to Guy Fawkes’ treason.

Traditionally, these effigies called ‘guys’, are carried through the streets in the days leading up to Guy Fawkes Day and children ask passers-by for “a penny for the guy.” Today the word ‘guy’ is a synonym for ‘a man’ but originally it was a term for an “repulsive, ugly person” in reference to Fawkes. The fireworks represent the explosives that were never used by the plotters.

In Ottery St Mary, south Devon, in a tradition dating from the 17th century, barrels soaked in tar are set alight and carried aloft through parts of the town by residents. Only Ottregians – those born in the town, or who have lived there for most of their lives – may carry a barrel. Lewes, in southeastern England, is also the site of annual celebration. Guy Fawkes Day there has a distinctly local flavour, involving six bonfire societies whose memberships are grounded in family history stretching back for generations. The only place in the UK that does not celebrate Guy Fawkes Night is his former school St. Peter’s in York. They refuse to burn a guy out of respect for one of their own.

At a glance – 7 things you never knew about Guy Fawkes

1. Guy Fawkes did not die from being hung, drawn and quartered:
As he awaited his grisly punishment on the gallows, Fawkes leapt to his death – to avoid the horrors of having his testicles cut off, his stomach opened and his guts spilled out before his eyes. He died from a broken neck.
2. Guy Fawkes was not the Gunpowder Plot’s ringleader:
There were 13 conspirators in the plot, which was masterminded by Robert Catesby, a charismatic Catholic figure who had a reputation for speaking out against the English crown. But it was Fawkes who gained notoriety after the plot was foiled, for he was caught after sneaking into the cellar beneath the House of Lords to ignite the explosives.
3. Guy Fawkes won the unlikely admiration of King James I:
Fawkes withstood two full days of torture and expressed his regret at having failed his mission. His steadfast manner earned him the praise of King James, who described Fawkes as possessing “a Roman resolution”.
4. Guy Fawkes has an island named after him:
He is one of Britain’s most infamous villains, whose effigy has been burned and whose demise has been publicly celebrated for more than four centuries. Yet to the north-west of Santa Cruz Island in the Galapagos Islands, a collection of two uninhabited, crescent-shaped islands is named Isla Guy Fawkes, or Guy Fawkes Island.
5. The Houses of Parliament are still searched once a year to make sure there are no conspirators hiding with explosives:
Before the annual State Opening of Parliament, the Yeomen of the Guard search the Houses of Parliament to make sure there are no would-be conspirators hiding in the cellars. This has become more of a tradition than a serious anti-terrorist precaution.
6. The cellar that Fawkes tried to blow up no longer exists:
It was destroyed in a fire in 1834 that devastated the medieval Houses of Parliament.
7. The gunpowder would have done little damage to Parliament:
The 36 barrels of gunpowder that Fawkes planted in a cellar below the Houses of Parliament would have been sufficient to raze it to the ground, while causing severe damage to neighbouring buildings. However, some experts now claim that the gunpowder had “decayed”, and would not have properly exploded even if ignited.

What you didn’t know about Halloween….

 

 

Straddling the line between fall and winter, plenty and paucity, life and death, Halloween is a time of celebration and superstition. It is thought to have originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off roaming ghosts. In the eighth century, Pope Gregory III designated November 1 as a time to honor all saints and martyrs; the holiday, All Saints’ Day, incorporated some of the traditions of Samhain. The evening before was known as All Hallows’ Eve and later Halloween. Over time, Halloween evolved into a secular, community-based event characterized by child-friendly activities such as trick-or-treating. In a number of countries around the world, as the days grow shorter and the nights get colder, people continue to usher in the winter season with gatherings, costumes and sweet treats.

Halloween’s origins date back to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced sow-in). The Celts, who lived 2,000 years ago in the area that is now Ireland, the United Kingdom and northern France, celebrated their new year on November 1. This day marked the end of summer and the harvest and the beginning of the dark, cold winter, a time of year that was often associated with human death. Celts believed that on the night before the new year, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred. On the night of October 31 they celebrated Samhain, when it was believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth. In addition to causing trouble and damaging crops, Celts thought that the presence of the otherworldly spirits made it easier for the Druids, or Celtic priests, to make predictions about the future. For a people entirely dependent on the volatile natural world, these prophecies were an important source of comfort and direction during the long, dark winter.

To commemorate the event, Druids built huge sacred bonfires, where the people gathered to burn crops and animals as sacrifices to the Celtic deities. During the celebration, the Celts wore costumes, typically consisting of animal heads and skins, and attempted to tell each other’s fortunes. When the celebration was over, they re-lit their hearth fires, which they had extinguished earlier that evening, from the sacred bonfire to help protect them during the coming winter.

By 43 A.D., the Roman Empire had conquered the majority of Celtic territory. In the course of the four hundred years that they ruled the Celtic lands, two festivals of Roman origin were combined with the traditional Celtic celebration of Samhain. The first was Feralia, a day in late October when the Romans traditionally commemorated the passing of the dead. The second was a day to honor Pomona, the Roman goddess of fruit and trees. The symbol of Pomona is the apple and the incorporation of this celebration into Samhain probably explains the tradition of “bobbing” for apples that is practiced today on Halloween.

On May 13, 609 A.D., Pope Boniface IV dedicated the Pantheon in Rome in honor of all Christian martyrs, and the Catholic feast of All Martyrs Day was established in the Western church. Pope Gregory III (731–741) later expanded the festival to include all saints as well as all martyrs, and moved the observance from May 13 to November 1. By the 9th century the influence of Christianity had spread into Celtic lands, where it gradually blended with and supplanted the older Celtic rites. In 1000 A.D., the church would make November 2 All Souls’ Day, a day to honor the dead. It is widely believed today that the church was attempting to replace the Celtic festival of the dead with a related, but church-sanctioned holiday. All Souls Day was celebrated similarly to Samhain, with big bonfires, parades, and dressing up in costumes as saints, angels and devils. The All Saints Day celebration was also called All-hallows or All-hallowmas (from Middle English Alholowmesse meaning All Saints’ Day) and the night before it, the traditional night of Samhain in the Celtic religion, began to be called All-hallows Eve and, eventually, Halloween.

Celebration of Halloween was extremely limited in colonial New England because of the rigid Protestant belief systems there. Halloween was much more common in Maryland and the southern colonies. As the beliefs and customs of different European ethnic groups as well as the American Indians meshed, a distinctly American version of Halloween began to emerge. The first celebrations included “play parties,” public events held to celebrate the harvest, where neighbors would share stories of the dead, tell each other’s fortunes, dance and sing. Colonial Halloween festivities also featured the telling of ghost stories and mischief-making of all kinds. By the middle of the nineteenth century, annual autumn festivities were common, but Halloween was not yet celebrated everywhere in the country.

In the second half of the nineteenth century, America was flooded with new immigrants. These new immigrants, especially the millions of Irish fleeing Ireland’s potato famine of 1846, helped to popularize the celebration of Halloween nationally. Taking from Irish and English traditions, Americans began to dress up in costumes and go house to house asking for food or money, a practice that eventually became today’s “trick-or-treat” tradition. Young women believed that on Halloween they could divine the name or appearance of their future husband by doing tricks with yarn, apple parings or mirrors.

In the late 1800s, there was a move in America to mold Halloween into a holiday more about community and neighborly get-togethers than about ghosts, pranks and witchcraft. At the turn of the century, Halloween parties for both children and adults became the most common way to celebrate the day. Parties focused on games, foods of the season and festive costumes. Parents were encouraged by newspapers and community leaders to take anything “frightening” or “grotesque” out of Halloween celebrations. Because of these efforts, Halloween lost most of its superstitious and religious overtones by the beginning of the twentieth century.

By the 1920s and 1930s, Halloween had become a secular, but community-centered holiday, with parades and town-wide parties as the featured entertainment. Despite the best efforts of many schools and communities, vandalism began to plague Halloween celebrations in many communities during this time. By the 1950s, town leaders had successfully limited vandalism and Halloween had evolved into a holiday directed mainly at the young. Due to the high numbers of young children during the fifties baby boom, parties moved from town civic centers into the classroom or home, where they could be more easily accommodated. Between 1920 and 1950, the centuries-old practice of trick-or-treating was also revived. Trick-or-treating was a relatively inexpensive way for an entire community to share the Halloween celebration. In theory, families could also prevent tricks being played on them by providing the neighborhood children with small treats. A new American tradition was born, and it has continued to grow. Today, Americans spend an estimated $6 billion annually on Halloween, making it the country’s second largest commercial holiday.

The American Halloween tradition of “trick-or-treating” probably dates back to the early All Souls’ Day parades in England. During the festivities, poor citizens would beg for food and families would give them pastries called “soul cakes” in return for their promise to pray for the family’s dead relatives. The distribution of soul cakes was encouraged by the church as a way to replace the ancient practice of leaving food and wine for roaming spirits. The practice, which was referred to as “going a-souling” was eventually taken up by children who would visit the houses in their neighborhood and be given ale, food, and money.

The tradition of dressing in costume for Halloween has both European and Celtic roots. Hundreds of years ago, winter was an uncertain and frightening time. Food supplies often ran low and, for the many people afraid of the dark, the short days of winter were full of constant worry. On Halloween, when it was believed that ghosts came back to the earthly world, people thought that they would encounter ghosts if they left their homes. To avoid being recognized by these ghosts, people would wear masks when they left their homes after dark so that the ghosts would mistake them for fellow spirits. On Halloween, to keep ghosts away from their houses, people would place bowls of food outside their homes to appease the ghosts and prevent them from attempting to enter.

Halloween has always been a holiday filled with mystery, magic and superstition. It began as a Celtic end-of-summer festival during which people felt especially close to deceased relatives and friends. For these friendly spirits, they set places at the dinner table, left treats on doorsteps and along the side of the road and lit candles to help loved ones find their way back to the spirit world. Today’s Halloween ghosts are often depicted as more fearsome and malevolent, and our customs and superstitions are scarier too. We avoid crossing paths with black cats, afraid that they might bring us bad luck. This idea has its roots in the Middle Ages, when many people believed that witches avoided detection by turning themselves into cats. We try not to walk under ladders for the same reason. This superstition may have come from the ancient Egyptians, who believed that triangles were sacred; it also may have something to do with the fact that walking under a leaning ladder tends to be fairly unsafe. And around Halloween, especially, we try to avoid breaking mirrors, stepping on cracks in the road or spilling salt.

But what about the Halloween traditions and beliefs that today’s trick-or-treaters have forgotten all about? Many of these obsolete rituals focused on the future instead of the past and the living instead of the dead. In particular, many had to do with helping young women identify their future husbands and reassuring them that they would someday—with luck, by next Halloween—be married. In 18th-century Ireland, a matchmaking cook might bury a ring in her mashed potatoes on Halloween night, hoping to bring true love to the diner who found it. In Scotland, fortune-tellers recommended that an eligible young woman name a hazelnut for each of her suitors and then toss the nuts into the fireplace. The nut that burned to ashes rather than popping or exploding, the story went, represented the girl’s future husband. (In some versions of this legend, confusingly, the opposite was true: The nut that burned away symbolized a love that would not last.) Another tale had it that if a young woman ate a sugary concoction made out of walnuts, hazelnuts and nutmeg before bed on Halloween night she would dream about her future husband. Young women tossed apple-peels over their shoulders, hoping that the peels would fall on the floor in the shape of their future husbands’ initials; tried to learn about their futures by peering at egg yolks floating in a bowl of water; and stood in front of mirrors in darkened rooms, holding candles and looking over their shoulders for their husbands’ faces. Other rituals were more competitive. At some Halloween parties, the first guest to find a burr on a chestnut-hunt would be the first to marry; at others, the first successful apple-bobber would be the first down the aisle.

Of course, whether we’re asking for romantic advice or trying to avoid seven years of bad luck, each one of these Halloween superstitions relies on the good will of the very same “spirits” whose presence the early Celts felt so keenly.

History

How to give CPR to a baby and toddler

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds have recently highlighted the importance of taking baby and toddler CPR lessons on their respective Instagram accounts by revealing that they had both recently taken a course, and urging fellow parents to get involved.

 

Blake, 29, wrote alongside a picture with showed her with several training dummies: “ALL MAMAS AND DADDIES OUT THERE– I can’t recommend this enough, I took a CPR class with with a focus on babies and toddlers. Google “infant CPR class near me” and you’ll see lots of listings. For those of you who haven’t done it, you will love it. It’s so helpful by giving you knowledge, tools, and some peace of mind.”

The couple, who are parents to two daughters, know the importance of first aid – Ryan, 40, revealed in his post that he had helped save his nephew’s life thanks to a past CPR lesson, but was taking a refresher course focused on infant and toddler CPR, to further enhance his knowledge and skills.

With research showing that 74% of parents say the first aid emergency they fear the most is finding their baby unresponsive, St John Ambulance has issued first aid advice on what to do if a baby or child is unresponsive and not breathing.

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How to do Baby CPR (under the age of one)

If your baby is not responding to you and they are not breathing, follow these steps to perform CPR:

  1. Call 999/112 for emergency help: If you are on your own, give 1 minute of CPR before calling on a speaker phone.
  2. Give 5 initial puffs over the mouth and nose.
  3. Give 30 chest pumps using two fingers at a rate of 100-120 pumps per minute.
  4. Repeat: give 2 puffs followed by 30 pumps. (30:2)

Why men secretly go for curvy women

 

 

 

I’m not skinny, but I used to be very skinny. When I quit smoking I gained about fifty pounds. At first, I was pretty horrified about it. My boyfriend at the time told me he preferred it when I was skinny, but after the relationship ended and I learned to love my smokeless, overweight body, I had a few different ideas about it.

The thing that changed my mind about missing the skinny me was all the men that were hitting on me. I was getting flirted with left and right! It was nice. I was a little shocked about it, but I finally got a man to fess up and tell me why he liked my curves. Why do men like curvy women you ask? Here’s what I’ve learnt.

1. Bigger boobs

There are many men who are “boob” men and curvy women have bigger boobs. It’s that simple. They don’t mind the few extra inches around the middle as long as they get to play with the goods. Make note here, ladies, use those boobs to your advantage!

2. More booty

In the history of rock and roll, there has never been a song about a flat butt. Ever. My butt was pretty cute when I was thin, but it really grew and rounded out when I put on a few pounds. I thought for sure it was going to make men move along to the next girl, but I was wrong. In fact, I got more compliments on my bigger butt than I did on my tiny perky butt. Although I miss my perky little rear, I do like the compliments.

3. They’re softer

Curvy women are softer and men like to be the strong, hard ones in a relationship. It’s more satisfying for a guy to curl up and snuggle someone soft and round, than it is to snuggle up to bones and sharp elbows, so I’ve been told.

4. No bruised thighs

I prefer men with weight for one main reason: I hate having bruised thighs after sleeping with a man. A skinny guy leaves my sensitive body bruised and sore, but a softer body isn’t as hard on my thighs. I’ve been told that sentiment works both ways.

5. They eat

Men do not want to be the only ones eating when they go out, it’s weird for them. If you’re sitting there nibbling a salad and you finish an hour before he’s done with his steak and potatoes, he gets pretty nervous about it. Men like curvy women because they eat with them and it’s always more comfortable to eat with someone than to have someone sit and watch you eat.

6. They look younger

Men also like curvy women because, generally, they look younger. It’s true, that extra fat smooth’s out those wrinkles, ladies! I got told the other day I looked twenty five. I’m thirty seven. My round cheeks play a big role in looking younger.

7. It’s a sign of fertility

Another one of the main reasons men like curvy women is actually biological and subconscious. Men associate wide hips and large breasts with fertility, they always have. A woman with curves was said to be good for child bearing and men associate curves with that notion. Even if they aren’t ready to have children, the fact that you look fertile makes them want to mate with you.

8. They’re not afraid to get a little rough

I had a guy tell me once that he was afraid of hurting me. He would rather put me on a shelf like a little china doll and not touch me. That was when I was skinny. I’ve never had that problem with my curves, in fact, most of my boyfriends haven’t been afraid to ask for something a little harder or kinkier in the bedroom. I guess they think a curvy girl can handle it.

9. It’s classic beauty

All of the old, classic statues and paintings had women with curves. From ancient Greece to the Renaissance, women who had large, cellulite thighs and chubby arms were considered beautiful. There are a few reasons for this. Aside from the “fertility” idea (which we’ve already discussed), women who are curvy are known to be well fed.

Food is a sign of health. Food is also a sign of wealth (being able to buy food and all). It has been proven that during times of economic depression or repression more men preferred curvy women, because in their mind, they associate it with health and wealth.

10. It’s less “boyish” and less “child-like”

I have known men to be genuinely turned off by skinny women because it is a sign of immaturity to them. Many men associate curves with the “mother” figure and a more mature woman, so dating a skinny woman doesn’t appeal to them. Also, some guys feel like dating a skinny woman is too much like dating another guy, they don’t like the way it feels.

While there are some men who do prefer thin women (I’ve been turned down by a few, believe me), there are still many men who prefer women with curves and extra weight. Italian men and Greek men are excellent examples of guys who like they’re women a little on the rounder side. I’ve met guys who like their women a LOT on the rounder side!

The point is, no matter what your weight is, there is always someone out there who finds it attractive. Honestly.

So, instead of worrying about needing to lose weight (or worrying about needing to gain weight), appreciate your body as it is.

If you’re a woman with a few extra pounds, don’t hide your figure, go out and flaunt it! Don’t you want to show off those curves?

Rachel

29 Tips and Tricks for Traveling the World with Kids

 

 

Pulling off a great family vacation requires a lot of planning, patience and effort. You get better at all this the more you do it. You stay more focused on what’s important — and less on what’s not. I’ve traveled a lot with my kids — and learned a lot of lessons — these are my top tips for having a great time while traveling with children.

Planning Your Trip

1. Check the validity of your passports. Be sure they’re good for 3 months after the day of your arrival home. Many people make the mistake of thinking that as long as they’re back home before their passports expire they’ll be fine. (It seems like common sense doesn’t it?) But not so. Authorities will often demand that your passport be good for several weeks — even several months for some countries — past the day of your arrival home. Some airlines will not let you board the plane if there is not enough extra time on your passport.

2. Scan your passports and email them to yourself, along with any other important documents — e.g. green card, birth certificate, the visa pages of your passport. If you ever lose your passports abroad, this will save you a ton of time and hassle when you have to replace them.

3. Notify your credit card companies before you leave. Banks are very careful about fraud nowadays — and run algorithms on your billing history to spot any irregularities. A charge from a country or city that you’ve never previously had a charge from could easily get your credit card frozen. And unfreezing your account from a foreign city in a different time zone, will be a lot harder than just calling your bank before departure.

4. Take more than one credit or debit card. Cards work differently in foreign countries, some will work at bank ATM but not at a corner store ATM, others will work in restaurants but not at an ATM. There are a number of complex rules and reasons but if you don’t work in the banking industry you’ll never know all of them. The best remedy is to take multiple cards.

5. Make an Out-The-Door list. Leaving for the airport — as your holiday starts — is one of the most stressful times of any trip. Have a list of things you need to grab as you’re leaving your home. I don’t mean a list of things you need to take (i.e. 2 pairs of pants, 3 t-shirts ). I mean a list of things you’ll need to physically grab. It should be a last minute checklist of all the little (and big) things you’ll need as you are going out the door. There will be the bags of course, the money belt, some water in the fridge for the airport, some snacks on the counter and sweaters for the plane. Plus all the indispensables you’ll want to double-check one last time before heading to the airport: passports, credit cards, cash. There’s a lot to remember — so have a list for it!

6. Put enough in your carry-on bags for the first day or 2 of your trip. This is good advice for anyone but especially when traveling with kids. If your bags are lost you don’t want to be hunting for diapers or a pair of shorts immediately after your arrival in a new city or country.

7. Count your suitcases, backpacks, handbags and keep the number in your head. This is simple and maybe painfully obvious, but it sure helps. You hop in a taxi, “bag count — 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  — yep they’re all here”. Easy. (Bigger families may want to conduct a kid count as well.)

8.Use a small digital camera. The fantastic shots you think you’ll get of the Grand Canyon, or Taj Mahal or Great Wall of China will be left and forgotten. The really great photos that you’ll love and savor for years to come will be the up-close and intimate shots of your kids and your family. And the key to getting great family photos is to take a lot of them. A ton of them! And the way you do that is to take a small camera, have it with you all the time and take pictures as quickly and discreetly as possible. You might insist, I’ll do all that, but with a bigger better camera. But you probably won’t.

9. Book a hotel for your first nights of your trip — but then stay flexible. My advice for traveling singles (or couples) is always to book a hotel for their first night after arrival, then get your bearings, figure out where you want to go and just find hotels as you need them. I’ve upgraded this for traveling families — reserve the first 2 or 3 nights. I realize this advice won’t work for everyone. Some people need certainty and plans and dates. And having all your hotels reserved for the duration of your trip can make things easier. But you’ll also lose some flexibility. If something’s working — if you’ve found a great little beach resort or a really fun hotel with a friendly staff — you’ll have to say goodbye because you’ve already booked a room in the next town. On the other hand having the freedom to leave a place that isn’t living up to expectations is a great bonus and can make the difference between an average vacation and an unforgettable one.

Practicalities of Travel

10. Welcome — don’t fear — airport security. Security checkpoints force parents to be lean and efficient with their packing. Take what you need but don’t take what is unnecessary. Security can also be a good reason not to take stuff on the plane that you don’t want your kid to have (i.e. your kid’s new water gun). And insisting that you keep all your little bottles and creams in a Ziploc bag — what a great idea!

11. Don’t line up early for trains and airplanes or anything where you have a reserved seat. If you’re one of those people who like to maximize their time on the airplane, by all means, board early, get that seat warm, burn through all your snacks before anyone else has even boarded. How great!  You’ll have enough time on the plane without artificially extending it. As my son said on our return trip from Tokyo, “We have to go when they say final call right Papa?” Right!

12. One parent in charge. Don’t share the burden of any one duty while traveling. Packing for example. One person packs and knows where everything is. Two people pack and no one really knows where anything is. Same with hotels. One person plans them, arranges them, and books them. Do you have that confirmation email or do I? Na-Uh!

13. Get online storage for photos. Besides losing the kids, my photos are what I’m most concerned with losing. Forget your bag on the train platform and there goes your camera — and your photos. You can get free online storage at Adrive (50GB) or SkyDrive (25GB). (You will need a laptop, of course, to upload your photos.) Upload your pictures every night or two and then when you take your camera out on that fishing trip you’re not worried about dropping your camera and losing the last 2 weeks of photos.

14. Hire a car and driver. If you’re traveling in an inexpensive or developing country consider getting a driver instead of driving yourself. Prices are usually reasonable and they’ll know the ways and customs of the road better than you will. (Tip: have the address of your destination for longer distance trips. When you start your trip the driver will inevitably say, “Oh yes, I know where that is”, which translates to “I’ll ask for directions when we get there”. An address, instead of just a name, will help speed the process.)

Being There

15. Beat jet lag: stay up late the first night. Get outside and do something active. Long walks are good. Parks and playgrounds are great. Kids are usually so excited by their new environment you can get away with doing a lot that at home might not work. One caveat: most people forget — or don’t realize — that meal times can be way off as well in a new time zone. If your child usually eats a big breakfast and lunch but a small dinner at home. This can translate into no appetite at breakfast or lunch and then ravenous hunger at 7pm and midnight. Have a good array of healthful snacks in your hotel room on the first night.

16. Have a plan for the day. It doesn’t need to be cast in stone – stay flexible and easy going — but you should walk out the hotel door in the morning with a plan of where you’re going, what subway or bus you’re taking, what attractions do you have planned for the day? Perhaps obvious and natural to some but for me it wasn’t and once I took the time to plan the day on the night before, everything became a lot easier.

16. Check the website of the attraction just before your visit. It’s amazing how often museums will have closed for renovations, changed their schedule, or have a visiting show in place of its usual exhibits. Sometimes these changes can be nothing more than a nuisance. Other times they can ruin your plans for the day. Checking the website in the days before your visit eliminates most of this uncertainty.

17. Ask your hotel concierge for suggestions. Another obvious one that you nonetheless might skip because it sounds so touristy and lame. But they often know little tips and tricks for getting around the city and visiting attractions that can make your life a lot easier. Depending on the style of hotel asking at the front desk will often get you the owner or management who might have a monetary interest in directing you towards a certain establishment or tour group. A concierge usually has no connections at all and just give good advice.

18. Don’t do too much BUT don’t do too little either. I think the biggest mistake parents traveling with kids make is doing too little not too much. Get out there. Enjoy. Experience. Wear the kids out and get them tired.

Things to Pack

This could be a long list. I’ve picked 6 essentials.

19. A swim shirt. These make applying sun lotion so much easier. The back, shoulders and face burn the easiest and this takes 2 of those 3 out of play. But they’re not useful just on hot sunny days. If you’re swimming slightly out of the summer season — or even at a temperate swimming pool — they help keep some heat in and delay those chattering teeth for a little longer.

20. A great baby carrier or backpack. These are life savers in airports, train stations, cobblestone streets and hotels without elevators. Strollers are something to consider but if you have a little baby with you, a good carrier is close to a necessity.

21. A fabric high chair. These wrap around pretty much any type or size of chair and hold the baby in place so they can sit at the table. (There are many on the market but Totseat is a good one if you’re looking for names.)

22. A flashlight and a nightlight. Street lighting might not be as consistent as in your hometown and you’ll probably have a few nights returning to your hotel down a quiet road or path. A torch or flashlight can come in very handy. And a nightlight for the bathroom: Hotel rooms are unfamiliar and finding a bathroom in the middle of the night can be tricky. If your child — or even you — have to turn on a light it makes it much more likely they’ll have trouble getting back to sleep. A stumble over an unfamiliar ledge in a dark bathroom could make for a midnight visit to the hospital — or at least a lot of tears. A nightlight (with plug adapter if necessary) can solve these problems.

23. First Aid Tape— aka surgical tape. This stuff is great. Adhesive tape that is so much easier to apply than a band aid and actually sticks to fingers, toes, and the places kids really get cuts.

Staying Safe

Most things you do won’t make any difference. The top 5 that might:

24. Know the fire escapes. A good practice at any time but especially in foreign countries where the exits and escape routes might not be as well marked.

25. Drill your kids on swimming pool safety. When staying in a hotel with a swimming pool remind your young kids that they don’t go in the pool without telling mom or dad. Make it the first thing you do after you put down your bags in the room.

26. Get the necessary vaccines and get them early. Check with the CDC or NHS and get the relevant vaccines and anti-malarial medicines well before departure — some vaccines can require multiple visits and can take a few months to get the entire series of shots. Many adults haven’t had their booster shots, so get those as well. There’s nothing worse than getting a deep cut in place far from a hospital and then having to worry about whether your Tetanus booster is up to date.

27. Fly longer distances and avoid the highways. Flying is the safest mode of transport. There can be many reasons to drive instead of fly but don’t ever not fly and choose car or bus for safety reasons alone. The attacks on 9/11 killed almost 3000 people. Unknown to many, it also resulted in the death of another 2100 in the months that followed because people stopped flying and chose the road instead — a much more dangerous mode of transport. And that’s in the U.S. — if you’re traveling in a developing country the disparity in road and flight safety rates will be even higher.

28. Play act out unusual or worrisome scenarios. If you’re concerned about your child being lost in a busy market, then act out the scene and what they should do. If you tell a kid what to do when they’re lost, they’ll probably forget it. If you act out what they should do they’re much more likely to remember it. (There’s a reason employers do fire evacuation drills — they work!)

Last Word

29. Stay Positive! Be Happy! This can mean many things. For starters, you need a keen eye for what’s important and what’s not. With the typical boundaries and rules turned up side down, it’s very easy to become a “No, No, No, No” parent. Focus on the important stuff. Things that make your day easier and keep everyone safe. Try to hear yourself talking — you should be saying far more positive things than negative things.

Like at home, praise effort not results. Praise the process not the outcome. Comment on how hard they worked or how patient they were, not how well they did a task or how good they are at something.

And finally it means, living in the moment and taking everything in that you can. Live it! Experience it! Try new things and get out of your comfort zone. Become a kid again — explore, investigate, ask questions — and your children will come right along with you.

There’s an evolutionary secret that can help you understand how to attract men and make them desire you

 

Attraction between the sexes, as complicated as it may seem, is pretty simple to explain in a few lines.

Girls are more easily attracted to a guy who appears healthy and stress-free, has a good level of testosterone which makes him appear more manly and chiseled, and has a protective streak in him which makes him a good mate material and a father.

Guys, on the other hand, are more easily attracted to girls based on their appearance or behavior.

But that’s not it though.

To truly understand how to attract men and how a man’s mind works, we need to get deeper into the concept of attraction from the male point of view.

How to attract men in a way they can’t resist

A guy may like a girl for different reasons, but when it comes to physical or sexual attraction at first sight, her physical appearance and her behavior matters more than anything else.

So if you want to attract a man and make him desire you, you just need to get his attention the right way. And the rest, as they say, is history!

You need to keep this in mind though, love and attraction are two completely different things. A guy may find you extremely attractive, yet he may not end up falling in love with you for his own reasons.

But for love to blossom in the first place, you need to build the sexual attraction before you make him fall in love with you. It’s the safest way to make sure the guy falls for you and stays in love with you.

Attraction and how a man views a woman’s body

As we know that physical attraction plays a very big part in attracting a guy, you need to understand what a guy’s mind tells him when he sees you and sizes you up.

When a guy sees a girl’s physical assets, he subconsciously sees more than just your breasts or your butt. The right curves in all the right places tells a guy that a girl is fertile and has come of age, and that she’s healthy because her body can afford to waste energy on developing her curves which play the biggest role in sexual attraction.

A guy may think a girl is attractive. But in his subconscious mind, he’s gauging you as the woman who may carry his offspring one day.

Testosterone and a man’s sexual preference

Every man produces testosterone, a sexual hormone, in his testes. And women produce a small amount of testosterone in their ovaries. The more testosterone a man produces, the more manly he looks and the more sexually virile he is. His facial features appear manlier, his jaws are wider and more chiseled and his voice is deeper.

And several studies have shown that the more manly a man is, the more attracted he’d be to women who exhibit feminine traits *girlie, cute traits*.

On the other hand, a small percentage of men who produce a lesser-than-normal amount of testosterone may find themselves getting more attracted to women who are less feminine and more controlling and dominant in the relationship.

So if you’re trying to catch the attention of a typical guy *a large percentage of men have normal or high production of testosterone even though the overall average testosterone levels have dropped significantly in American men over the last 50 years*, chances are, he’d love you if your behavior is more feminine, cute and girly!

The perfect woman for a real man – She’s cute and sexy

A regular man who isn’t suffering from low testosterone would always find a feminine woman more attractive than a woman who thinks femininity is overrated and displays traits that are traditionally considered manly.

While a girl’s physical appearance is the biggest sign of femininity, at times, it helps if you can display more femininity in your behavior. No, I’m not saying pink frills and scented paper. But there are always other ways to appear cuter and get a guy to take a second and third look at you.

Why do guys like cute girls?

Men have always been the more aggressive sex in the human species. They’re usually the ones who spread their legs wider, stand tall and swell their chest up while trying to appear threatening all the time, more so when they’re in an argument or when they meet someone they see as a threat in any manner.

But cute changes everything. When a girl behaves in a cute and feminine manner, it brings out the protective instincts of a man. Instead of feeling threatened by a feminine girl, he feels protective about her. That makes him feel more masculine, and that’s something every guy loves to feel!

When a girl reveals her vulnerable side to a guy, it’s very hard for any guy to ignore her or avoid noticing her vulnerability. And the instant his mind connects with her vulnerability, it eliminates any thoughts of a threat and his protective side creates a bond of protection and attachment with her.

He feels the need to be around her, and his subconscious mind tries very hard to make her feel protected, comfortable and loved around him. He loses his aggressive stance, the tone of his voice softens down, and his shoulders droop down towards her instead of spreading wide. And before he even gives attraction a second thought, he’d realize that he likes the girl already!

Traits of a cute and feminine girl that draw real man

Many girls are against the idea of being feminine or behaving in a cute manner. To a typical feminist, behaving in a demure or coy manner is a sign of weakness. And they can’t accept that a guy finds a cute *and dare, we say it… submissive* girl more attractive than a girl who likes to be a non-girlie girl.

If you’re feminine, you don’t really have to be cute. But if you can pull off a perfectly cute personality, it would only add to your allure and make you more desirable among men.

To understand cute behavior better, all you need is to interact with a couple of Japanese or Thai girls whose behavior isn’t influenced by us Americans. They’re not meek or silly, nor do they have to behave like stupid bimbos to win a guy’s affection. All they have to do is flaunt what sets them apart, and that’s their femininity and grace.

And no testosterone laden guy can resist the allure of a sweet Asian girl when he’s having a conversation with her. Everything about them makes them appear more beautiful and feminine, right from their cute heart signs with inverted hands, the way they nod their heads, the way they behave while having a conversation with you to the way they smile coyly and yet so warmly.

Femininity comes naturally to some girls *not just Asian girls*, but it’s an art that’s worth learning. If you want to know how to attract men, all you need to do is exude your feminine side while talking to them. And once you try that, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

And remember, a cute girl who displays her feminine side will always have an edge over all other girls when she’s trying to catch the attention of a real man!

How to bring out your feminine side naturally

Femininity comes naturally. But cuteness can be created by the way you behave.

Additionally, if you’re on a date with a guy and want to come across as a girl who’s in touch with her femininity, here are a couple of tips for you.

#1 Dress in softer pastel colors like peach or mauve. The color will give your skin tone a healthy glow that makes you look warm and likeable instantly.

#2 Smile more often. A smile can make you appear more pleasant and friendly.

#3 Run your fingers through your hair delicately. Always works for any guy!

#4 Tip your head slightly downwards when you’re blushing or smiling, and look at him from under your eyebrow.

These four tips may sound bizarre for a feminist or a cute-bashing girl, but trust me, it will do wonders for your date!

A tip to remember – Don’t be yourself if you can be better

Contrary to popular belief, don’t be yourself. Evolve.

When someone tells you that the best way to attract someone is by being yourself, well, they’re not entirely right. All of us change all the time. And not every change that we see in ourselves may be in the right direction.

Who are you? How would you define yourself? We are who we are because of our socioeconomic status, the people around us, and other influences we’ve had in our lifetime. A lucky few may have had the opportunity to be influenced by the perfect examples, while most of us have to change to become better individuals. Or worse, we never get to become better individuals  or achieve the full potential that’s within us because we’re convinced we’re all perfect already.

You don’t have to change yourself just to attract men, but change yourself to become a better you. Have you ever walked into a room full of attractive women, and found yourself thinking that a few of those girls were better than you in some way? When you meet a woman and find yourself in awe of her for any reason at all, it only means you admire and want some particular trait of hers that you lack yourself.

If you like a trait about a friend, be it her spontaneity, her courage, her carefree attitude, her posture, or the way she dresses up, your mind may subconsciously like that trait because you want to see that trait in yourself. A change of this kind is good, where you see something you like and want to see that in yourself.

A girl who is the epitome of perfection in every way *if she does exist* won’t be awed by anyone else. On the other hand, everywhere she goes, she’d be the girl that would receive compliments, stares and awed jaws!

So change often, become the dream girl you fantasize about in your head, and be the girl you really want to be. And life will turn out to be so much better for you, be it about men, work, friends or anything else.

It’s easy to push a thought away and assume it’s wrong to be feminine or assume it’s a bad thing to change. But trust me, change is good. And change is inevitable. So you’re going to change whether you like it or not. And you have a choice to become a better you, or a worse you.

The last word about the science of attraction between the sexes

We’re all animals, and you shouldn’t forget that. We may be wearing pants or walking on two feet, but that doesn’t change our primal instincts. We still chase each other and woo each other just like the animals in the wild.

The male and female sexes still play games to win each other’s affection. Human males still like to woo a female through their display of brute strength, dexterity or their sheer awesomeness. And a man laden with male hormones wants a woman who’s graceful and feminine, because subconsciously, it makes him feel more like a man.

You don’t have to pretend to be dumb or weak, nor do you have to behave like the weaker sex just to attract a man. All you need to do is revel in your femininity and display your cuteness, and give the man you like a chance to bask in his manliness and show off his protectiveness!

Understanding how to attract men is really simple. Enjoy your femininity and let the world see it. The men will come, yes, they’ll come in droves!

Lovepanky

Slyther-in to something more comfortable!

Female Harry Potter fans, have you ever wanted to cast a spell over your other half in the bedroom? Whether it’s for the bedroom or just for fun, becoming the sexiest member of house Gryffindor is now a reality thanks to the latest in new range of underwear that’s fun to wear. Who needs Hermione Grainger and Ginny Weasley when you can make your own magic thanks to this raunchy bedroom costume?

Launched by Yandy.com, the Harry Potter ‘Magic Student Fantasy Lingerie Set’ looks set to be a hit among fans of the franchise. The set compromises of a sheer grey lace crop top with a white collar, a sheer, burgundy high-waisted panty with a grey lace trim, a cheeky cut back, removable burgundy and gold suspenders, and a matching striped tie (glasses not included). As of now, the set is only available in the Gryffindor colours of Harry’s house and there are no plans as yet to include Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff or Slytherin, indicating that romance between houses is prohibited. However, if you’re a fan of wholesome Cho Chang or Bellatrix Lestrange, we won’t tell.

The Potter set is part of a fantasy section in the classy lingerie site which includes sexy superheroes and red hot princesses and is available for pre-order now. Fittingly the set was launched on July 31st, Harry’s birthday.

The set is hoping to prove hugely popular with fans and non-fans of the franchise, flying out the door faster than the speediest of Quidditch players. It is advised to get your order in quick so you can say ‘Expelliarmus’ to your lover’s clothes and ensure the night ends with ‘Mischief Managed!’

 

Reasons to Date a Low-Maintenance Woman

It’s easy to make a low-maintenance woman happy. That’s because she enjoys the simple things in life—an afternoon by a fish ball cart can pass for the best date she’s ever had, as long as you’ve shown her a great time. She doesn’t expect you to always have your best foot forward. She’d rather have you honest and relaxed because that just means you’re comfortable around each other.

On a regular day, you’ll see her in a classic shirt-and-pants ensemble, which she accents with a tailored coat or a casual jacket, depending on the occasion. She prefers flats and sneakers over heels because she doesn’t like being restricted by what she wears when she’s off on one of her many adventures. She’s straightforward, practical, but somehow still remains to be the classiest woman you’ve seen, and that’s probably because she’s content with who she is.

There’s no use worrying about a low-maintenance woman; she can handle things by herself. You don’t need to drive her around or buy her things that she likes. She can do all that without your help. Independence is her second name, and while she appreciates that she can rely on you, she treats you as her equal. Respect her enough to treat her the same. She was strong on her own before she ever met you, and she still is now.

A low-maintenance woman does not ask for a lot. It’s easy to purchase gifts, but she knows the weight of love and loyalty, which is why she values them more than those that are tangible. A low-maintenance woman is, after all, still a woman with high standards, and she will never allow herself to be treated less than what she knows to be her true value.

As much as you enjoy the lightness of her company, remember that she is her own person: She may fall in a dark place if ever you make the silly and illogical decision to leave her, but she won’t stay there for long. She’ll rise above and beyond you without bitterness and complication, because that’s the way she is.

So do yourself a favor and stay a while. She may teach you a thing or two about living and loving. Dating a low-maintenance woman is more than just being with someone who enjoys cheap thrills; it’s about being with someone who finds beauty in simplicity.

Reasons to Date a Woman with High Standards

 

A woman with high standards is a woman who knows what she wants. When she sets the bar for who she chooses to be with, it doesn’t mean that she’s immediately a red-heeled tigress who eats men’s souls for lunch. Standards are relative, and this woman, in her confident smile and intriguing sensibilities, simply knows exactly what she’s looking for.

She is any lady who knows how and when to compromise, but doesn’t take less than what she knows she deserves. She’s honest, open, and admittedly at times, too-wide eyed: There will be always a point when she hopes to marry into real-life royalty, but at the end of the day she just wants a prince who’ll help with the dishes in a cozy home.

She isn’t afraid to venture out, but won’t think twice about staying within her familiar haunts when she feels like it. She can either actively look for love or simply choose to sit in a coffee shop without even trying. However she does it, the point is that she won’t just date anyone (unlike before), because now, she knows better. Yes, she may have been hurt before, and she has also made mistakes, but haven’t we all?

A woman with standards knows that the person who’s worth her time will understand her worth, and treat her right. She is someone who has confidence and ambition, and while at times she may question her own abilities, she never fails to go beyond her insecurities when it truly counts. She doesn’t stand at the sidelines watching life pass her by; she jumps right in the flow and expects whomever she chooses to be with to do the same. She understands that a partner isn’t the person to fix her, but someone who can help her smoothen out her edges while celebrating her identity, and vice versa.

In the same vein, a woman with high standards for her future partner sets even higher ones for herself.

She knows that she has to bring something to the table. She isn’t looking for someone too handsome, or too rich, or too smart. She’s looking for one who can match her in every possible way. That’s where her standards for both herself and her man are coming from; the definite desire to find that one soul excited about the same worthwhile life she has dreamed of. At the end of the day, it’s not really about high standards, just values.

So yes, date a woman with standards. Date a woman who knows her worth, because finding someone who can stand on her own means being with someone who can stand with you.